It is Monday. And this is my life.

Watching "The Walking Dead" makes me want to beef up on my food storage. And guns. Lots and lots of guns.

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On Friday my four year old daughter let out a huge belch in the Costco food court. Before I could melt with shame an old man walked by and congratulated her. I might have congratulated her myself. Had we been at home. 

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 I left my crown and pearls at home, but other than that...TWINNERS!

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In a fit of familial fixing I decided we should declare Sundays "screen free". My husband whimpered a bit and settled into negotiations. "Screen-Free Sunday Evening" it is! On Sunday evening, we turned off the TV, the iPad, and the phones. And then we stared at each other wondering, "Well, what do we do now?" The kids decided we should play the game of Life. Little do they know, Joe and I "play life" every day and sometimes it doesn't feel so "gamey". But it was fun...until we pulled the lid off the box. And then it got very, very frustrating. Two and four year olds are not so big on Life. Six and eight year olds are, but they aren't so big on getting married or paying taxes or playing by the rules. Our first Screen-Free Sunday Evening didn't last long. But at least it happened.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOM!!! I don't know if you read my blog anymore, but I love you and am so grateful for the influence you have been in my life. You are one of the biggest reasons I am what I am today. Thank you for teaching me about hard work and testimonies. Thank you for passing on your love of mountains and pioneers. Thank you for showing by example that anything is possible if you work hard enough and never give up.

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A couple of weeks ago, I posted this status on Facebook:

Waaaay back in high school, I was supposed to read "Heart of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad. But I didn't. I faked my way through the unit, probably because I was too busy being social or sleeping or something. I've felt guilty ever since, so today...today I will read "Heart of Darkness".

You are welcome, Mrs. Fleishchman.

And I STILL haven't been able to get through the first chapter.

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I also posted this on Facebook...

...And somehow I have once again managed to simultaneously feel incredible pride and humiliation. Kind of like when the four-year old belched in Costco.

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And this...while not posted on Facebook...makes me really not in the mood to make dinner.

I ran out of dishwasher detergent so I had to wash all of these...BY HAND! Oh the horror! Those are clean dishes. Why dirty them up now?

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On Sunday I seized the opportunity to bear my testimony in Fast and Testimony meeting as I had not been able to the month before, thanks to a woman who took the better part of 25 minutes relating to the church congregation just exactly what kind of medications she can and cannot take when traveling out of town. I had really wanted the chance to publicly express my heart-felt sentiments about my beloved religion to my son, who was recently baptized a member of our faith. As I did this on Sunday, I looked down to the bench where he was sitting to look into his eyes, which were bound to be tear-filled as I declared my cherished convictions...only to see him using his little sister's wooden dress-up doll to repeatedly bonk himself in the head.

Maybe I ought to find out what meds that other lady is on.