It is 9:26 pm.
I have been trying to spend some time with you all day.
You were even on my list of things to do today.
Right below "write missionary brother" and right above "eat healthy".
I got the brother written and I tried to eat healthy and here I am spending a few moments with you.
See. You are important to me.
Even more important than eating healthy?
Meh.
Let's just say easier to do than eating healthy. (And yes! Chocolate covered strawberries do count as a healthy snack. Hello! Fresh fruit! Smothered in chocolate!)
Anyway.
I just put four little people to bed.
Yep.
At 9:26 pm.
On a school night.
But I made sure those four little people got kisses, hugs, piano practice, homework, family time, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, chocolate covered strawberries, and lots of love before their sweet little heads ever hit the pillow.
Doing all that all day has me plum worn out.
Sorry poor little neglected blog.
You're going to have to wait until tomorrow. I will put you on my to do list again.
Right above "exercise" and right below "make sure to do all you can to be the best mama and wifey you can today".
A girl has to have some priorities, ya' know?
Love,
Me
P.S. This song is my current favorite. It makes me wish I had a really tall building, a really big voice, and some really big chops to sing it at the top of my lungs to the world.
3.25.2011
Your Daily Dose of Vitamin "Cee"
Don't feel obligated to gush over my obviously beautiful baby.
I've just been dying to use that blog post title for a while now.
Mission. Accomplished.
3.24.2011
Repost: La Lament Le Laundry
I have been struggling with the same mountainous pile of laundry for the past three weeks.
No lie.
I thought a little repost, this one in particular, was in order as I spend the day taking this bad mamba jamba down.
Happy Thursday everyone!
P.S. You can find a fresh new post of mine over at MMB today!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The laundry.
It lounges.
It loiters.
It lurks.
In a labyrinth of
lusty,
lugubrious
levels.
The lady of the land,
She is the luckless, laden laundress.
How was she leveled to this
loathsome,
lowbrow
labor?
Loyal to the love of the lord and the lodgers,
She launches herself lithely into the laundering livelihood, lugging the leagues from the lobby and the loft.
The landslide of laundry leans under her laudable lather,
But as the load lingers,
she languishes,
lachrymose for liberty...
...or at least a little lounge.
Landlocked by the lapels.
She longs and grows
lackadaisical,
lackluster,
listless.
But, liable to her loved ones,
she leaps off her laurels,
empties the lint trap,
and locates her liveliness again.
Little by little,
the laundry lightens,
laid in lithe loads,
localized in lockers.
The luminous lass is
laughing,
loquacious,
light-hearted.
What the L?!?!
No lie.
I thought a little repost, this one in particular, was in order as I spend the day taking this bad mamba jamba down.
Happy Thursday everyone!
P.S. You can find a fresh new post of mine over at MMB today!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The laundry.
It lounges.
It loiters.
It lurks.
In a labyrinth of
lusty,
lugubrious
levels.
The lady of the land,
She is the luckless, laden laundress.
How was she leveled to this
loathsome,
lowbrow
labor?
Loyal to the love of the lord and the lodgers,
She launches herself lithely into the laundering livelihood, lugging the leagues from the lobby and the loft.
The landslide of laundry leans under her laudable lather,
But as the load lingers,
she languishes,
lachrymose for liberty...
...or at least a little lounge.
Landlocked by the lapels.
She longs and grows
lackadaisical,
lackluster,
listless.
But, liable to her loved ones,
she leaps off her laurels,
empties the lint trap,
and locates her liveliness again.
Little by little,
the laundry lightens,
laid in lithe loads,
localized in lockers.
The luminous lass is
laughing,
loquacious,
light-hearted.
What the L?!?!
3.23.2011
The One Where She Loses a Few Followers
I read something this morning that I wanted to share with you, my friends in the blog world. Whether I have met you in person or not, I consider you my friends.
So here it is.
"Wherefore the things which are pleasing unto the world I do not write, but the things which are pleasing unto God and unto those who are not of the world." ***
I can see you clicking the exit button now. Maybe rolling your eyes and thinking, "Oh great! Here she goes getting all churchy on us"?
Possibly.
But I want to tell you something about myself. Something that I haven't exactly kept hidden but that I haven't been very forward about either here on Hanging by A Silver Lining.
I am a Mormon.
Gasp!
There I said it.
I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and this means many things to me.
First and foremost, being a Mormon means that I believe in Christ.
I believe that the Savior died, being crucified on the cross, but rose again to live. Before all that He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for the sins of mankind. And you can trust that there was a big old rotten portion of my sins in there. I believe because He did all this that I can be forgiven for all the many things I seem bound and determined to do wrong while I live here on earth. Dang that natural man thing I got going on.
Knowing how easily I screw up makes me forever grateful that someone, an eternal and perfect being no less, would do that for me. Forever grateful, humbled, and in debt.
Because I am a Mormon I choose not to drink alcohol, take drugs, consume tobacco in any form, drink coffee or tea, and as of late I am taking it an extra step and trying to be committed to not drinking Coke and Dr. Pepper either. {whimper}
Because I am a Mormon I made the decision to not have any premarital sex, even with my husband when we were engaged and "practically married". I continue to avoid sexual relations with anyone other than my husband, who I plan to be married to for many years. Like eternity.
Being a Mormon I believe that dancing, singing, listening to loud music, playing rowdy games, watching football, bowling, camping, blogging, swimming, drinking root beer floats, watching Shaytards videos on YouTube, reading novels, eating turkey at Thanksgiving and ham at Christmas are wholesome, fun activities. Ones I often enjoy.
Being a Mormon, I believe the family is eternal IF and only IF we work in this life to live in such a way that we will be worthy to live together in the life hereafter. I believe this, but I confess, this terrifies me. I feel not only a dire responsibility for myself, but for my husband and each of my four children.
Being a Mormon, I knew I wanted to have several children that would not be separated from me even by death. Having LOTS of children is not a commandment, but something I chose to do. Just because I chose to have lots of kids doesn't instantly make me the perfect mom. It's something I have to work at not just daily, but minutely sometimes. Being a Mormon helps me to do that thanks to prayer, repentance, religious instruction and guidance, and support of church community.
Being a Mormon, I believe in the truthfulness and power of a certain book: The Book of Mormon. Although I struggle to find the time and dedication to read and study it daily, I know I should. And I know that when I do, my day just seems to go better; I am happier, I am more patient, kind, and sensitive to spiritual promptings. All good things that help me to be a better mom, wife, friend, and person.
I am a Mormon because I CHOOSE to be a Mormon. I am not a sheep. No one makes me believe in all this. I have had my moments when I have considered scrapping it all and doing whatever the he!! I want. But deep down inside, I KNOW that I have a testimony of this religion. I feel, believe, KNOW it is truth and light and happiness. And that it is right for me.
Being a Mormon doesn't make me perfect. It doesn't put me above anyone else. It doesn't mean I am "saved". It doesn't mean I am not going to screw everything up most days. It doesn't mean I won't say or do or write dumb things. It doesn't save me from cancer or debt or taxes. It doesn't mean I only listen to church music (I actually detest most church music) or don't go to the theater to see the latest movie or avoid chocolate (because I certainly don't).
But being a Mormon does mean something to me. And I wanted you to know that.
***1 Nephi 6:5 (a scripture from The Book of Mormon)
3.22.2011
Fly Baby, Fly!
A friend introduced me to the FlyLady last week. Because good friends do that.
The FlyLady and I are slowly getting acquainted. My kiddos keep interrupting our conversation, but we're bound to be the best of friends before too long.
Who's the FlyLady you ask? Allow me to make the introductions.
FLY = Finally Loving Yourself
I like the sound of that.
She sends about a bazillion emails every day, but each one ends with: "You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?"
She must read my blog or at least did yesterday. Check out this email she sent this week:
Dear Friends,
Why is it that we always need a starting point to begin to change our
lives? You know how it is; On Monday I will start a new diet, quit
smoking, start exercising or become a FLY Baby. Some of us wait till
January 1st to begin a life change. If it is such a good idea then
why do we need to wait for some other time to begin???
What is wrong with the Do it Now Principle? DING! I have
preached for years that you are not behind and you can jump in
anytime. Some days I have been known to start over in the middle of
the afternoon.
Here is what I do:
Let's say for some reason I am having trouble getting my day started
and it is 2:00 pm.
1. I go look at my bed and if it is not made I make it. There are
days when I have to jump up and get the phone that seems to start me
off on the wrong foot. So I just pretend to be getting out of bed for
the first time.
2. Then I pick out some more clothes to put on. Because what I am
wearing isn't energizing me. I must have gotten dressed fast.
3. Then I go get into the bathtub. A good soak helps me to focus
again.
4. Then I get out of tub and get dressed. As I am dressing, I swish
and swipe the bathroom. (wipe down the counter, put things away and
swish the toilet bowl with a brush)
5. I put on my lace up shoes then I get out my Control Journal and
start down my list to see what I have left out. Most of the time I
have forgotten to eat all day and drink my water. So I make sure I
eat something and drink some water.
6. At this point, I use my timer, because my home has probably gotten
more than 15 minutes worth of messy and it is time to attack my
hotspots.
7. I work for 15 minutes and then I rest for 15 minutes. After about
an hour of this my home is back in shape and I am feeling better
about me.
So do you see just how easy it is to start over with your day! You
don't have to beat yourself up or go hide under the covers: All you
have to do is start your Morning Routine over again. Don't look at it
as if you are behind! Just jump in and get started.
Are you ready to Jump in and get started today?
FlyLady
P.S. No more excuses; Now set your timer! DING!!!
Brilliant.
3.21.2011
Because I Want it All or Nothing at All
I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.
When it comes to...everything.
I listen to a cd over and over and over and over until it is burned in my head, put it away, and forget about it for months, even years.
Even if I'm full and my stomach says "don't do it", I HAVE to finish that whole dang candy bar. (Obviously, this one gets me in a lot of trouble).
We're going to have kids? Okay. Let's hurry and get them all here and then be done.
Cleaning? Can't just clean one room. Let's spring clean the whole house.
If I start a book, life stops until the book is consumed.
You can bet if I don't blog on a Monday or Tuesday, it ain't gonna happen the rest of the week either, even if I have the time on a Wednesday. If I have enough time I'll first write a post for Monday. Then Tuesday. THEN I'll write for Wednesday.
Get the picture?
And here I am. I made it here on a Monday. And I have everything in the world to say and nothing to say all at the same time.
Much randomness to follow.
Cee turned two months yesterday. She celebrated by sleeping an entire 7 hours straight. Her kind of partying scares me. When I woke up at 7:42 am and realized I had been wholly unconscious since 1 am, I lit from my bed and rushed to her crib to make sure she was still breathing (When is that fear ever going to subside? I still do that with my six year old if he sleeps longer than usual.)
I decided it was high time I get my life back in order. This morning I woke up at 5 am, fed the baby, and began my day with a bang. Writing, dishes, prayers, scripture study, eating healthy, drinking tons of water, peeing tons of pee, kid stuff, more kid stuff, more not-kid stuff. By 3 pm I regretted that early morning ambitious decision. I can hardly see straight right now.
In my go-get-'em condition today, I called up DiSH Network and canceled our satellite service. Permanently. They did their best to try to convince me otherwise(How many times can one girl say "No thanks!"?), but when they get down to it, they get down to it. The service was shut-off before the guy even said goodbye. Woah. I confess...It hurts a bit. Now who's going to entertain my kids when I need to get anything done?
Dee started piano lessons on Saturday. Today was his first day of practice. By the end of it, I was ready to quit. Him too. I kept it together though. Still, after our practice session, I found him laying on his bed, sobbing. I tried to regather my patience about me and be the loving patient mother he needed me to be. When I asked what was wrong he said, "It's so much harder than I thought". I almost started crying too. Because I'm feeling all sorts of philosophical about life today. True that, Dee. True that.
Trying to rouse the self-esteem of my little man I asked him what made him happy. "Going to the theater" was his immediate response. Not really what I was going for, but okay. Let's try another one. I asked him what made him excited. "Going to a bigger theater!"
In my all or nothing posting (meaning NOTHING) I didn't post about this little goodie that I won from Mamarazzi's Etsy Giveaway about 437 years ago. What an ungrateful girl am I! I won it before Cee made her appearance and asked if I could wait to cash in on it until after she was born and I had a name to put on the "lovey" and burp cloth.
Super precious, right? (Tell me again why I try to keep my kids' names secret on here?) Thank you so much Mamarazzi! You rock my blogosphere! And thank you to Carrie at My Lil Luv Bug Boutique! You do gorgeous work!
I stumbled upon this blog today. A young mom of four boys living on an air force base in Japan blogs about what it's like to live in the after effects of an earthquake and tsunami. Very touching and yet educational all at the same time. Make sure you read this post because everybody needs a good cry sometimes.
Since we moved to this house (and yes I keep meaning to post pics. I just never seem to be able to keep all the rooms clean enough at one point in time to run around and take pictures. All or nothing...I'm tellin' ya'...) I have this gorgeous, spacious, ridiculously long storage room to fill and no excuses left to not do food storage and emergency preparedness. Dangit.
My little brother gets home from Argentina in 23 sleeps. I haven't seen him since Christmas 2008. I can't wait!
I have been planning on exercising all day. "Planning on" is quickly turning into "thinking about it" which is most certain to dissolve into "maybe tomorrow". Ugh.
And if I don't exercise today, you know what that means for the rest of the week...
When it comes to...everything.
I listen to a cd over and over and over and over until it is burned in my head, put it away, and forget about it for months, even years.
Even if I'm full and my stomach says "don't do it", I HAVE to finish that whole dang candy bar. (Obviously, this one gets me in a lot of trouble).
We're going to have kids? Okay. Let's hurry and get them all here and then be done.
Cleaning? Can't just clean one room. Let's spring clean the whole house.
If I start a book, life stops until the book is consumed.
You can bet if I don't blog on a Monday or Tuesday, it ain't gonna happen the rest of the week either, even if I have the time on a Wednesday. If I have enough time I'll first write a post for Monday. Then Tuesday. THEN I'll write for Wednesday.
Get the picture?
And here I am. I made it here on a Monday. And I have everything in the world to say and nothing to say all at the same time.
Much randomness to follow.
Cee turned two months yesterday. She celebrated by sleeping an entire 7 hours straight. Her kind of partying scares me. When I woke up at 7:42 am and realized I had been wholly unconscious since 1 am, I lit from my bed and rushed to her crib to make sure she was still breathing (When is that fear ever going to subside? I still do that with my six year old if he sleeps longer than usual.)
I decided it was high time I get my life back in order. This morning I woke up at 5 am, fed the baby, and began my day with a bang. Writing, dishes, prayers, scripture study, eating healthy, drinking tons of water, peeing tons of pee, kid stuff, more kid stuff, more not-kid stuff. By 3 pm I regretted that early morning ambitious decision. I can hardly see straight right now.
In my go-get-'em condition today, I called up DiSH Network and canceled our satellite service. Permanently. They did their best to try to convince me otherwise(How many times can one girl say "No thanks!"?), but when they get down to it, they get down to it. The service was shut-off before the guy even said goodbye. Woah. I confess...It hurts a bit. Now who's going to entertain my kids when I need to get anything done?
Dee started piano lessons on Saturday. Today was his first day of practice. By the end of it, I was ready to quit. Him too. I kept it together though. Still, after our practice session, I found him laying on his bed, sobbing. I tried to regather my patience about me and be the loving patient mother he needed me to be. When I asked what was wrong he said, "It's so much harder than I thought". I almost started crying too. Because I'm feeling all sorts of philosophical about life today. True that, Dee. True that.
Trying to rouse the self-esteem of my little man I asked him what made him happy. "Going to the theater" was his immediate response. Not really what I was going for, but okay. Let's try another one. I asked him what made him excited. "Going to a bigger theater!"
In my all or nothing posting (meaning NOTHING) I didn't post about this little goodie that I won from Mamarazzi's Etsy Giveaway about 437 years ago. What an ungrateful girl am I! I won it before Cee made her appearance and asked if I could wait to cash in on it until after she was born and I had a name to put on the "lovey" and burp cloth.
Super precious, right? (Tell me again why I try to keep my kids' names secret on here?) Thank you so much Mamarazzi! You rock my blogosphere! And thank you to Carrie at My Lil Luv Bug Boutique! You do gorgeous work!
I stumbled upon this blog today. A young mom of four boys living on an air force base in Japan blogs about what it's like to live in the after effects of an earthquake and tsunami. Very touching and yet educational all at the same time. Make sure you read this post because everybody needs a good cry sometimes.
Since we moved to this house (and yes I keep meaning to post pics. I just never seem to be able to keep all the rooms clean enough at one point in time to run around and take pictures. All or nothing...I'm tellin' ya'...) I have this gorgeous, spacious, ridiculously long storage room to fill and no excuses left to not do food storage and emergency preparedness. Dangit.
My little brother gets home from Argentina in 23 sleeps. I haven't seen him since Christmas 2008. I can't wait!
I have been planning on exercising all day. "Planning on" is quickly turning into "thinking about it" which is most certain to dissolve into "maybe tomorrow". Ugh.
And if I don't exercise today, you know what that means for the rest of the week...
3.07.2011
Vlog, She Spoke
So. It has come to this.
Vlogging.
I can't believe I did it, but I was having so much fun watching everybody elses vlogs that I simply couldn't resist.
Enjoy...even with all the typical "umms", that blasted double chin, and my new found inability to look a camera straight in the eye.
Shall we make this a monthly thing thanks to Mamarazzi and Seriously Shawn?
I believe we shall.
Vlogging.
I can't believe I did it, but I was having so much fun watching everybody elses vlogs that I simply couldn't resist.
Enjoy...even with all the typical "umms", that blasted double chin, and my new found inability to look a camera straight in the eye.
Shall we make this a monthly thing thanks to Mamarazzi and Seriously Shawn?
I believe we shall.
2.18.2011
The Invisible Mother
I really loath forwarded emails. Really. Utterly. Loath.
But.
My mom sent this forwarded email to me today and I couldn't help but share it with all you Invisible Mothers out there. Yes...YOU!
And you!
Oh and you too...Yea, you. The one sporting the messy ponytail and "furry" teeth with macaroni and cheese residue smeared on your sleeve, baby barf on the other, and not a stitch of makeup on. YOU!
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! ‘Can you fix this?’, ‘Can you tie this?’, ‘Can you open this?’
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music, and literature - but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know... I just did.
The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
To all the wonderful mothers out there!! God bless and keep you.
But.
My mom sent this forwarded email to me today and I couldn't help but share it with all you Invisible Mothers out there. Yes...YOU!
And you!
Oh and you too...Yea, you. The one sporting the messy ponytail and "furry" teeth with macaroni and cheese residue smeared on your sleeve, baby barf on the other, and not a stitch of makeup on. YOU!
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! ‘Can you fix this?’, ‘Can you tie this?’, ‘Can you open this?’
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music, and literature - but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know... I just did.
The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
To all the wonderful mothers out there!! God bless and keep you.
2.17.2011
That's-Not-My-Kid Thursday
My poor little pathetic meme.
It just hasn't inspired the raging following. In fact only about one loyal follower (LISA!) has played along so far. I think the rest of you just come on over to the Silver Lining on That's-Not-My-Kid Thursdays to read my mortifying mommy moments and laugh. Laugh WITH me no doubt.
I think from here on out I'll drop the link up part of it and just use it for my own devices. Feel free to come on over and read my embarrassing kid stories and laugh WITH me...or AT me. If you would like to write your own That's-Not-My-Kid Thursday post, leave a comment with your address below and I will gladly hop on over and laugh
Onto the mortifying mommy moment...
Since even before Cee arrived, my six year old son Dee has been absolutely enthralled with the concept of breastfeeding. You could make all sorts of cracks about Freud or the male gender and its early fascination with the feminine personage, but I think his curious six year old mind is simply that...curious.
He has been asking all sorts of questions about how, where, why the baby eats and "what are those things for"? I subscribe to the honesty-is-the-best-policy policy and try to matter-of-factly explain how breastfeeding works to my son.
Only problem is...I kind of forgot to also explain how its not exactly mixed company conversation.
The week before we left Nevada I was at the school picking up Dee from kindergarten. When his teacher saw me she busted out laughing and said, "I have to tell you what Dee said today!"
Apparently my son educated his entire kindergarten class on just how breastfeeding works. Quite loudly too according to his teacher.
I haven't gotten any phone calls from incensed parents yet. Moving away has its advantages.
2.16.2011
Did You Know...??? {The Four-Kid-Mom Edition}
Did you know...
...when you tell people that you have four children and their ages are 6, 4, 2, and newborn that people automatically assume you are a "planner"?
...that even though you said you were "done" at four that you may or may not feel a sense of resolution once that fourth baby arrives? And that it will haunt you in the wee hours of the morning?
...that poisoned apples are not only fairy tale fodder? Apparently they are quite effective on unruly two-year olds who refuse to nap as well.
...that a) if you are a blogger, b) if you have a baby, and c) that baby arrives around Valentines Day, blog friends will send you little goodies such as this? (Thank you again Mimi! Cee loves it... Can you tell?)
...an uninterrupted hot shower is like unto a week long vacation in the Bahamas?
...a week long vacation in the Bahamas is easier to come by than an uninterrupted hot shower?
...that if you are a four-kid family living in Utah, you look pretty normal compared to all the other out-of-control-rabbit-breeding crazies out there? (And when I say "crazies" I do so with much admiration and respect IF they're doing it right...)
...it is perfectly acceptable to wear your comfortable maternity pants and under-roos even if you can technically fit in your pre-pregnancy pants? Especially if you are too busy breastfeeding to do the laundry.
...breastfeeding your newborn is a legitimate "out" for laundry, dishes, making dinner, conversations with unpleasant visitors, boring meetings, and putting older kids to bed. ("Didn't you just barely feed the baby?" *shrugs shoulders* "Newborns. Sheesh." )
...hemorrhoids are no laughing matter and not good joke material?... JOE!
...the noise level in your house raises exponentially with the arrival of number four, even though the new addition may not be the source of noise?
...that teeny tiny itty bitty baby feet can make a grown woman cry?
...peanut butter sandwiches for dinner the fourth night in a row sounds like a perfectly lovely idea when contemplating whether or not to load up four kids in the van to go to the store all by yourself? Even if you are out milk...and peanut butter...and bread? In fact, nothing could make you leave the house with four kids by yourself unless a) you are out of diapers and not willing to wrap your kitchen towels around your newborn's bum, b) there's a veritable lifetime supply of chocolate waiting on the other end, or c) the house is on fire?
...no matter how "fluffy" you are, people will tell you how amazing you look "for just having your fourth baby"? And you will restrain yourself from giving them a big fat kiss and asking them to be your new best friend?
...it still boggles the mind to look at a new baby and think: "THAT came from me! Like from inside my body! I made that! Wow. "
...a new mother just can't resist showing off her baby, be it the first or the fourth? And a mother can see the subtle differences between 40 pictures of her baby all in the same position and MUST have a copy of 34 of those 40pictures?
...when you tell people that you have four children and their ages are 6, 4, 2, and newborn that people automatically assume you are a "planner"?
...that even though you said you were "done" at four that you may or may not feel a sense of resolution once that fourth baby arrives? And that it will haunt you in the wee hours of the morning?
...that poisoned apples are not only fairy tale fodder? Apparently they are quite effective on unruly two-year olds who refuse to nap as well.
...that a) if you are a blogger, b) if you have a baby, and c) that baby arrives around Valentines Day, blog friends will send you little goodies such as this? (Thank you again Mimi! Cee loves it... Can you tell?)
...an uninterrupted hot shower is like unto a week long vacation in the Bahamas?
...a week long vacation in the Bahamas is easier to come by than an uninterrupted hot shower?
...that if you are a four-kid family living in Utah, you look pretty normal compared to all the other out-of-control-rabbit-breeding crazies out there? (And when I say "crazies" I do so with much admiration and respect IF they're doing it right...)
...it is perfectly acceptable to wear your comfortable maternity pants and under-roos even if you can technically fit in your pre-pregnancy pants? Especially if you are too busy breastfeeding to do the laundry.
...breastfeeding your newborn is a legitimate "out" for laundry, dishes, making dinner, conversations with unpleasant visitors, boring meetings, and putting older kids to bed. ("Didn't you just barely feed the baby?" *shrugs shoulders* "Newborns. Sheesh." )
...hemorrhoids are no laughing matter and not good joke material?... JOE!
...the noise level in your house raises exponentially with the arrival of number four, even though the new addition may not be the source of noise?
...that teeny tiny itty bitty baby feet can make a grown woman cry?
...peanut butter sandwiches for dinner the fourth night in a row sounds like a perfectly lovely idea when contemplating whether or not to load up four kids in the van to go to the store all by yourself? Even if you are out milk...and peanut butter...and bread? In fact, nothing could make you leave the house with four kids by yourself unless a) you are out of diapers and not willing to wrap your kitchen towels around your newborn's bum, b) there's a veritable lifetime supply of chocolate waiting on the other end, or c) the house is on fire?
...no matter how "fluffy" you are, people will tell you how amazing you look "for just having your fourth baby"? And you will restrain yourself from giving them a big fat kiss and asking them to be your new best friend?
...it still boggles the mind to look at a new baby and think: "THAT came from me! Like from inside my body! I made that! Wow. "
...a new mother just can't resist showing off her baby, be it the first or the fourth? And a mother can see the subtle differences between 40 pictures of her baby all in the same position and MUST have a copy of 34 of those 40pictures?
2.15.2011
The Good, the NOT Bad, and the Very UN-Ugly
(Cheesy? Probably. But how else do you thank the mysterious early morning snow shoveler?)
As I write this post my three oldest are playing outside in the backyard of our new house.
A fenced backyard. Of their very own. I think I'm gonna cry...
Happy tears!
I've always been a rather emotional person (you read my blog, right?) Over the last month those emotions have swung from despair and depression to joy and contentment.
LIFE IS GOOD!
And I would be a very ungrateful girl indeed if I didn't share it. It's too easy to write about all the trials and tribulations and soak up all the "poor Evelyn"s.
There is a balance.
For as insanely crazy and chaotic that the month of January was, so many good things happened and continue to happen. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I was this happy.
We have been blessed with family and friends who love us and give us so much support, encouragement, and love. We have felt the power of prayers, fasting, and love over the last several weeks.
I can't believe that this still surprises me, but it does. Over the last several weeks people would call or write out of the blue to tell me that they weren't sure why but they had been thinking of us and wondered if we needed anything. Amazing!
Packages of goodies and love arrived in our mail box. Homemade meals came to our door. Visitors sat in our living room unannounced but so very welcome. Blog friends who I have never met in person queried how we were doing and asked if there was anything they could do or just expressed the desire to be closer so they could help.
There were so many offers to help that I didn't even know what to tell people. I always feel kind of silly saying things like "just keep us in your prayers" or "we need your prayers", but if there was ever a time we needed prayers it was this last month. And those prayers were there and the power of them felt. Many times over.
I don't understand how. I don't understand why. I don't think we particularly deserved to be so blessed. We try to do good, but we certainly aren't the most righteous or generous or deserving folks.
In short, all that has happened this last month, the good and the bad, has been overwhelming and HUMBLING. Maybe that's why it happened. Because we needed a good humbling.
Note taken.
As grateful as we were for the help, it was hard to take it.
It was not easy to send my children away with my sister and mom for the better part of a week when I was in the hospital giving birth.
It was not easy to sit on the floor of our trailer in Nevada and watch nine men load up my house in a moving van in the space of an hour.
It was not easy to say "yes" when the Relief Societies of our church asked if they could bring in meals when we were all so sick and again after the baby was born and AGAIN when my husband left town a week after we moved to our new home.
It was not easy to watch my family set up my new house in the space of a day from the comfort of a recliner (something that would have taken me months to complete on my own with the "help" of three kids and a newborn).
It is not easy to feel worthy of so much concern and care. It is not easy to feel this indebted to so many people. It is not easy to find the right words to express the depth of gratitude I have.
I have every intention of paying it back and paying it forward. Possibly impossible, but I'll try anyway.
Starting now...
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!
To all our family, to our friends, to the old ward, to the new ward, to the "neighborly" neighbors, to the bloggers, to the complete strangers, for the meals, for the gifts, for the muscles, for the time, for the sweat, for the child care, for the fresh fruit, for the reminders to take it easy and to absorb the time with our new baby, for the shoulders to cry on, for the sympathetic ears, for the hugs, for the phone calls, for the messages, for the hotel stay, for the snow shoveling, for showing up, for being there, for staying, for coming back, for asking again and again and again, FOR THE PRAYERS...THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts, from the bottom of our toes, and all the spaces in between!
Thank you.
2.06.2011
Insert Clever Title Here
I miss blogging. I miss my blogging buddies.
I want, nay, NEED to blog.
BUT...
I keep waiting for this magical moment when both of my arms are free,
when no one is crying,
when my house is clean...ish and I can sit down with my laptop without feeling guilty,
when no one needs me for soothing, playing, opening, feeding, driving, changing, monitoring, wiping, scolding, SOMEthing,
when I am not thoroughly exhausted to the core,
when my clever function returns,
when I have time to read up on all my bloggy buddies' lives first,
when life just calms down for fifteen bloody minutes.
Meh.
Ain't gonna happen.
So. Here it is in a very hasty and gnarled up nutshell:
We got sick.
We got more sick.
We packed up the house.
We moved.
We unpacked the house.
We settled a bit.
We sent Joe off today to Tucson for a week long business trip.
We are still trying to shake all of the sick.
We are adjusting to our new life as Utahans.
We...make that ME...are struggling to get back into the swing of things many days.
We are very humbled and grateful for all that has taken place in the last month.
Oh...
And did I mention that in the midst of all that...
We had a baby?
Meet Lucy Ellen P. (here on out to be referred to as "Cee" in Blog-land)
Sorry Sami, but Joe exercised his husbandly and fatherly rights and vetoed "Agnes". :(
After 20 freakishly long hours of labor,
Born Thursday, January 20, 2011.
8.4 lbs and 20.5 inches
Lots of black hair.
Refuses to suck on a pacifier.
Smiled from the beginning.
Resides semi-permanently curled up on Mommy's chest.
Loved in abundance.
Birth story to follow.
I hope.
Oh all right. If you insist. Here's a few more pictures of baby.
"What...just...happened?!"
Joe + Evelyn = beautiful baby (Biased much??)
There's just something completely irresistable about baby toes...
I want, nay, NEED to blog.
BUT...
I keep waiting for this magical moment when both of my arms are free,
when no one is crying,
when my house is clean...ish and I can sit down with my laptop without feeling guilty,
when no one needs me for soothing, playing, opening, feeding, driving, changing, monitoring, wiping, scolding, SOMEthing,
when I am not thoroughly exhausted to the core,
when my clever function returns,
when I have time to read up on all my bloggy buddies' lives first,
when life just calms down for fifteen bloody minutes.
Meh.
Ain't gonna happen.
So. Here it is in a very hasty and gnarled up nutshell:
We got sick.
We got more sick.
We packed up the house.
We moved.
We unpacked the house.
We settled a bit.
We sent Joe off today to Tucson for a week long business trip.
We are still trying to shake all of the sick.
We are adjusting to our new life as Utahans.
We...make that ME...are struggling to get back into the swing of things many days.
We are very humbled and grateful for all that has taken place in the last month.
Oh...
And did I mention that in the midst of all that...
We had a baby?
Meet Lucy Ellen P. (here on out to be referred to as "Cee" in Blog-land)
Sorry Sami, but Joe exercised his husbandly and fatherly rights and vetoed "Agnes". :(
After 20 freakishly long hours of labor,
Born Thursday, January 20, 2011.
8.4 lbs and 20.5 inches
Lots of black hair.
Refuses to suck on a pacifier.
Smiled from the beginning.
Resides semi-permanently curled up on Mommy's chest.
Loved in abundance.
Birth story to follow.
I hope.
Oh all right. If you insist. Here's a few more pictures of baby.
"What...just...happened?!"
Joe + Evelyn = beautiful baby (Biased much??)
There's just something completely irresistable about baby toes...
1.17.2011
It Happens in Threes, Right??? Or is that Three HUNDRED?
Since I last posted, a few things have happened...
My four year old Jeigh also contracted pink eye, bringing the pink eye totality up to 3 pairs of little goopy, red, leaky eyes.
I have been giving her eye drops left over from the other two kids, but as her eyes have suddenly gotten worse on the third day of drops, I am beginning to wonder if she is allergic to sulfa meds.
My body which has been steadily fighting off viral junk since Christmas gave up and gave in to the funk yesterday morning.
I was tested for H1N1 today and failed...in a good way! Whew! What I have is just some rotten virus that needs time to work itself out.
I cough. Therefore I pee. Ugh.
I developed laryngitis along with the nasty viral crud. No voice? No problem. Maybe I'll give labor and delivery the ol' Scientologist try, eh? Eat your heart out, Tom Cruise.
I caught my dear sweet husband swiping some of my Tylonel and cough drops tonight. He won't admit he's feeling under the weather, but I think I can count on one hand how many times I have seen him take pills. I sure love my tough guy.
Joe's dad goes in for surgery tomorrow morning. If the surgery takes a long time, it is a good thing meaning they are finding the problem and fixing it. If it's short, it means they are giving up for now and letting time take its toll for a bit before trying again.
Last night, I couldn't take it anymore. My emotional and physical reserves ran out and I broke down.
Why???
I'm afraid I can't help but ask... Why is all of this happening all at the same time at this time in our life?
It is just unreal how each day brings new chaos and craziness. I'm getting a little embarrassed to even tell people how things are going as of late. It's just too unbelievable. Maybe that's why I have lost my voice. Time to suffer in silence.
I still believe we will get through all this and be the stronger for it. But good heavens! When is enough "enough"?
P.S. And who gave that sidebar permission to congratulate me? Guess Baby #4 didn't get the memo that today was her due date. I imagine she's trying to hide out as long as possible. I don't blame her; who would want to be born in the midst of all this? I am beginning to think that sitting in a hospital in labor and delivery will be a welcome respite from life as it currently is.
P.P.S. Again, I'm not searching for sympathy. I just need to get all this recorded because it is so unbelievable that I don't know if I will believe it myself in a few weeks when {HOPEFULLY} things have leveled out again.
My four year old Jeigh also contracted pink eye, bringing the pink eye totality up to 3 pairs of little goopy, red, leaky eyes.
I have been giving her eye drops left over from the other two kids, but as her eyes have suddenly gotten worse on the third day of drops, I am beginning to wonder if she is allergic to sulfa meds.
My body which has been steadily fighting off viral junk since Christmas gave up and gave in to the funk yesterday morning.
I was tested for H1N1 today and failed...in a good way! Whew! What I have is just some rotten virus that needs time to work itself out.
I cough. Therefore I pee. Ugh.
I developed laryngitis along with the nasty viral crud. No voice? No problem. Maybe I'll give labor and delivery the ol' Scientologist try, eh? Eat your heart out, Tom Cruise.
I caught my dear sweet husband swiping some of my Tylonel and cough drops tonight. He won't admit he's feeling under the weather, but I think I can count on one hand how many times I have seen him take pills. I sure love my tough guy.
Joe's dad goes in for surgery tomorrow morning. If the surgery takes a long time, it is a good thing meaning they are finding the problem and fixing it. If it's short, it means they are giving up for now and letting time take its toll for a bit before trying again.
Last night, I couldn't take it anymore. My emotional and physical reserves ran out and I broke down.
Why???
I'm afraid I can't help but ask... Why is all of this happening all at the same time at this time in our life?
It is just unreal how each day brings new chaos and craziness. I'm getting a little embarrassed to even tell people how things are going as of late. It's just too unbelievable. Maybe that's why I have lost my voice. Time to suffer in silence.
I still believe we will get through all this and be the stronger for it. But good heavens! When is enough "enough"?
P.S. And who gave that sidebar permission to congratulate me? Guess Baby #4 didn't get the memo that today was her due date. I imagine she's trying to hide out as long as possible. I don't blame her; who would want to be born in the midst of all this? I am beginning to think that sitting in a hospital in labor and delivery will be a welcome respite from life as it currently is.
P.P.S. Again, I'm not searching for sympathy. I just need to get all this recorded because it is so unbelievable that I don't know if I will believe it myself in a few weeks when {HOPEFULLY} things have leveled out again.
1.14.2011
The Girl Who Cried "PIG!" Learns to Shut Her Fat Mouth
Warning: This post is most likely contagious. If you intend to read on first grab a mask, a bottle of hand sanitizer, and a handful of Vitamin C. Oh, and have you had your flu shot?
I didn't. And neither did my kiddos. For three reasons.
Reason #1: Sometimes I think flu shots are just the result of dirty rotten propaganda spread by money-grubbing pharmaceutical companies.
Reason #2: I think as a society we have become a little overly occupied about germs. I can't help but laugh at the moms who trail behind their kids at the park spraying them down with hand sanitizer any time they plop off a slide or swing. Ridiculous.
Reason #3: Apparently Northern Nevada is so remote they kind of forgot to send any flu vaccinations this way. In spite of Reason #1 and #2, being the good mom I am I asked our doctor about getting my pregnant self, my asthmatic son, and two girls vaccinated only to be told "Sorry. We don't have any".
No big deal. We'll live.
Then January came. Now I'm wondering.
Earlier this week I found myself asking audibly to no one in particular "What else can go wrong?!" I've learned my lesson. I'm not asking anymore because I keep getting answered.
Shutting. Mouth. Now.
It all began last week with Dee having the nastiest case of pink eye I have ever seen.
Hold up! It started earlier than that...
Ten months ago my husband and I...put an order in with the stork and were blessed with a "response".
At the same time the "response" was making its presence known on a little home pregnancy test, we found ourselves separated by over 700 miles. Joe was in Nevada beginning a new job and finding us a home in our new town and me in Arizona packing up our entire household whilst trying to keep three--make that four now--children alive. The move was hard and long and stressful, but completed semi-successfully.
Fast forward seven months and we discover we are moving again. Sure the timing is insane with a baby due anytime, but we're tough! We can do this! Bring it.
And oh my. Has it ever been BBBBB-ROUGHT!
Dee had nasty yucky pink eye last week.
Our medical insurance ended up not covering nearly as much as we thought it would for this baby. Bummer.
Then we found out Joe's dad was going in for a simple in-and-out gallbladder removal. What was supposed to be "simple" and "in-and-out" has turned into a daily saga of surgery and suspense. His dad ended up being cut open to have the offending gallbladder removed, only to have someone stick a staple in a wrong place, damaging something important and causing liver issues. After several other procedures and a surgery or two (to be honest, I'm beginning to lose track) he was ambulated to a different hospital in Utah where hopefully no one else can screw anything up and they can piece Joe's dad back together again. Hearing the words "possible liver transplant" makes one slightly nervous.
Our one and only personal computer suffered a toddler takedown. The withdrawal shakes are just beginning to die down. I have missed my bloggy buddies! And did you realize how often we use the internet to look up the littlest things? And in the middle of a move when I am trying to find a house, the new school system, church, utility options, etc. Wow.
Really, it has been a mixed blessing that the computer has been out of commission. My hands have been completely full with sick kiddos. Four nights ago I put Elle to bed as a perfectly happy and healthy two year old. Within four hours she crept into our bed feverish and coughing that nasty croupy cough. Croup? Again?! Ugh. Okay. The baby may be due in a week and we are moving a week after that, but I can handle croup. It's just a wait-it-out kind of thing. Right?
As the days stretched on and her fever and cough worsened, my mommy instincts prickled. To the doctor's office we went where we found out Elle has the H1N1 virus. Yep. Make that swine flu. Awesome.
Not even the doctor would touch her. Fortunately he at least stayed in the room long enough to write out a prescription for her and the other two kids in hopes of preventing further spreading of swiny sickness. Then he high-tailed it out of there as quick as possible. Real comforting Doc.
He even had the gall to tell me to avoid contact with Elle so as to keep myself healthy. He tells me this as my poor little zombie daughter is laying curled around my belly and shoulders. Stay away from my sick baby??? Obviously he has never been a mom.
We like to share in our family. Especially germs. Four year old Jeigh was next. Fortunately she isn't quite as bad as Elle. And Elle is bad. I feel like I may literally explode every now and then from the sheer fear and exhaustion that comes from holding a feverish, gasping toddler through four subsequent sleepless nights.
Dee's sixth birthday was yesterday and I'm afraid the sleeplessness and stress has left Mommy in less than a celebratory mood. His little birthday, which he has been so excited for this year more than any other year, has taken a back seat to sick sisters. I know he will get over it, but it makes me sad to not be free to make his special day a big deal.
In the midst of all this, there is a sweet little baby taking refuge in my belly threatening to come any day. Two weeks ago, as her due date crept closer and closer, I was mildly irritated that she wasn't making her glorious appearance in a timely manner giving me time to recover for our move. Now I feel relief for each day that passes with her still safely tucked inside. She can stay in there as long as she wants!
Well...that's not totally true. If she doesn't come on her own by Wednesday the 19th, I am scheduled for a "two-day induction" (doesn't that sound positively gruesome?). The induction is a heartbreaking event in and of itself for me, but that's a different post for a different day.
As sickness and stress has swirled around us, I have begun to laugh, hysterically sometimes. I mean REALLY! What ELSE can go wrong?!?
When I looked into Elle's goopy, red, teary eyes last night and realized she had pink eye on top of H1N1...
I'm not asking anymore. I'm not even giving the fates a chance to grasp onto anything.
Anyone actually still reading my novel here? You mean you haven't exited as hastily as possible in hopes of saving yourselves?
I know this is a long drawn out post of woe. It probably appears that I am whining. Maybe I am a little, but the reason I write this post (on Joe's work computer no less) is first of all for posterity's sake. You can't make this stuff up.
Also, I KNOW that we will make it through this very troubled time. And then we will look back on this and laugh and laugh and laugh, maybe with less hysteria and more relief.
I hope we realize that because we were able to make it through this, we can do other hard things that will most definitely come in our lives. And I hope that we can be grateful for the good things that have happened in this time.
Things like the baby NOT coming in the midst of the disease and distress.
Things like my family showing love, faith, and support with prayers, fasting, and phone calls.
Things like friends lending sympathetic ears and shoulders.
Things like meals from church members.
Things like Dee, who tends to be the sickest out of the kids, staying healthy thus far {fingers crossed}.
Things like being able to laugh, even if it is hysterically, instead of cry at everything.
Things like sweet little toddlers who cuddle even more and are extra sweet when they are sick.
Things like helpful little four year olds who think it's fun to play nurse and help Mommy.
Yep. Life is good. Or at least it will be in February.
P.S. I am taking the comments option off of this post. I didn't write this hoping you all would gush over my sorrows and tell me how bad you feel for me. It has been good for me to just get it out and in words. Somehow it makes it slightly more manageable. But if you really want to send bottles of hand sanitizer or better yet chocolate...my address is... ;)
I didn't. And neither did my kiddos. For three reasons.
Reason #1: Sometimes I think flu shots are just the result of dirty rotten propaganda spread by money-grubbing pharmaceutical companies.
Reason #2: I think as a society we have become a little overly occupied about germs. I can't help but laugh at the moms who trail behind their kids at the park spraying them down with hand sanitizer any time they plop off a slide or swing. Ridiculous.
Reason #3: Apparently Northern Nevada is so remote they kind of forgot to send any flu vaccinations this way. In spite of Reason #1 and #2, being the good mom I am I asked our doctor about getting my pregnant self, my asthmatic son, and two girls vaccinated only to be told "Sorry. We don't have any".
No big deal. We'll live.
Then January came. Now I'm wondering.
Earlier this week I found myself asking audibly to no one in particular "What else can go wrong?!" I've learned my lesson. I'm not asking anymore because I keep getting answered.
Shutting. Mouth. Now.
It all began last week with Dee having the nastiest case of pink eye I have ever seen.
Hold up! It started earlier than that...
Ten months ago my husband and I...put an order in with the stork and were blessed with a "response".
At the same time the "response" was making its presence known on a little home pregnancy test, we found ourselves separated by over 700 miles. Joe was in Nevada beginning a new job and finding us a home in our new town and me in Arizona packing up our entire household whilst trying to keep three--make that four now--children alive. The move was hard and long and stressful, but completed semi-successfully.
Fast forward seven months and we discover we are moving again. Sure the timing is insane with a baby due anytime, but we're tough! We can do this! Bring it.
And oh my. Has it ever been BBBBB-ROUGHT!
Dee had nasty yucky pink eye last week.
Our medical insurance ended up not covering nearly as much as we thought it would for this baby. Bummer.
Then we found out Joe's dad was going in for a simple in-and-out gallbladder removal. What was supposed to be "simple" and "in-and-out" has turned into a daily saga of surgery and suspense. His dad ended up being cut open to have the offending gallbladder removed, only to have someone stick a staple in a wrong place, damaging something important and causing liver issues. After several other procedures and a surgery or two (to be honest, I'm beginning to lose track) he was ambulated to a different hospital in Utah where hopefully no one else can screw anything up and they can piece Joe's dad back together again. Hearing the words "possible liver transplant" makes one slightly nervous.
Our one and only personal computer suffered a toddler takedown. The withdrawal shakes are just beginning to die down. I have missed my bloggy buddies! And did you realize how often we use the internet to look up the littlest things? And in the middle of a move when I am trying to find a house, the new school system, church, utility options, etc. Wow.
Really, it has been a mixed blessing that the computer has been out of commission. My hands have been completely full with sick kiddos. Four nights ago I put Elle to bed as a perfectly happy and healthy two year old. Within four hours she crept into our bed feverish and coughing that nasty croupy cough. Croup? Again?! Ugh. Okay. The baby may be due in a week and we are moving a week after that, but I can handle croup. It's just a wait-it-out kind of thing. Right?
As the days stretched on and her fever and cough worsened, my mommy instincts prickled. To the doctor's office we went where we found out Elle has the H1N1 virus. Yep. Make that swine flu. Awesome.
Not even the doctor would touch her. Fortunately he at least stayed in the room long enough to write out a prescription for her and the other two kids in hopes of preventing further spreading of swiny sickness. Then he high-tailed it out of there as quick as possible. Real comforting Doc.
He even had the gall to tell me to avoid contact with Elle so as to keep myself healthy. He tells me this as my poor little zombie daughter is laying curled around my belly and shoulders. Stay away from my sick baby??? Obviously he has never been a mom.
We like to share in our family. Especially germs. Four year old Jeigh was next. Fortunately she isn't quite as bad as Elle. And Elle is bad. I feel like I may literally explode every now and then from the sheer fear and exhaustion that comes from holding a feverish, gasping toddler through four subsequent sleepless nights.
Dee's sixth birthday was yesterday and I'm afraid the sleeplessness and stress has left Mommy in less than a celebratory mood. His little birthday, which he has been so excited for this year more than any other year, has taken a back seat to sick sisters. I know he will get over it, but it makes me sad to not be free to make his special day a big deal.
In the midst of all this, there is a sweet little baby taking refuge in my belly threatening to come any day. Two weeks ago, as her due date crept closer and closer, I was mildly irritated that she wasn't making her glorious appearance in a timely manner giving me time to recover for our move. Now I feel relief for each day that passes with her still safely tucked inside. She can stay in there as long as she wants!
Well...that's not totally true. If she doesn't come on her own by Wednesday the 19th, I am scheduled for a "two-day induction" (doesn't that sound positively gruesome?). The induction is a heartbreaking event in and of itself for me, but that's a different post for a different day.
As sickness and stress has swirled around us, I have begun to laugh, hysterically sometimes. I mean REALLY! What ELSE can go wrong?!?
When I looked into Elle's goopy, red, teary eyes last night and realized she had pink eye on top of H1N1...
I'm not asking anymore. I'm not even giving the fates a chance to grasp onto anything.
Anyone actually still reading my novel here? You mean you haven't exited as hastily as possible in hopes of saving yourselves?
I know this is a long drawn out post of woe. It probably appears that I am whining. Maybe I am a little, but the reason I write this post (on Joe's work computer no less) is first of all for posterity's sake. You can't make this stuff up.
Also, I KNOW that we will make it through this very troubled time. And then we will look back on this and laugh and laugh and laugh, maybe with less hysteria and more relief.
I hope we realize that because we were able to make it through this, we can do other hard things that will most definitely come in our lives. And I hope that we can be grateful for the good things that have happened in this time.
Things like the baby NOT coming in the midst of the disease and distress.
Things like my family showing love, faith, and support with prayers, fasting, and phone calls.
Things like friends lending sympathetic ears and shoulders.
Things like meals from church members.
Things like Dee, who tends to be the sickest out of the kids, staying healthy thus far {fingers crossed}.
Things like being able to laugh, even if it is hysterically, instead of cry at everything.
Things like sweet little toddlers who cuddle even more and are extra sweet when they are sick.
Things like helpful little four year olds who think it's fun to play nurse and help Mommy.
Yep. Life is good. Or at least it will be in February.
P.S. I am taking the comments option off of this post. I didn't write this hoping you all would gush over my sorrows and tell me how bad you feel for me. It has been good for me to just get it out and in words. Somehow it makes it slightly more manageable. But if you really want to send bottles of hand sanitizer or better yet chocolate...my address is... ;)
1.10.2011
Technical Difficulties
Last week toddler and laptop met.
toddler: 1
laptop: 0
Mommy: -1
The prospects do not look good for my computer. And I don't really have time or funds to deal with its recovery right now. Looks like I may just have to put it out of its misery and move on.
I am feeling quite lost without my fifth appendage. Rather rotten timing to be without the internet too I might add. But when is it ever convenient to be without, right?
I am sorely missing all of you! I want to know what is happening on your blogs and in your lives. And I want you to know what is going on in mine. Fortunately Joe has a work-issued laptop, but I only get to steal a few minutes alone with it after he comes home in the evening. Not long enough to do anything worthwhile. Facebook what?
Please don't take my screen silence as anything other than it is; a blogger, interrupted.
No babies yet. (Hopefully that will happen by this weekend and if it does...I'll find a way to let you know.)
No moving yet. (That's not for another couple of weeks. Fingers crossed we finally found a house!)
No nervous break down yet. (But stay tuned...it's bound to happen. Maybe it's a good thing I am unplugged right now...)
I hope all is well with all of you and that 2011 is starting off in all the best ways!
Until we blog again...
toddler: 1
laptop: 0
Mommy: -1
The prospects do not look good for my computer. And I don't really have time or funds to deal with its recovery right now. Looks like I may just have to put it out of its misery and move on.
I am feeling quite lost without my fifth appendage. Rather rotten timing to be without the internet too I might add. But when is it ever convenient to be without, right?
I am sorely missing all of you! I want to know what is happening on your blogs and in your lives. And I want you to know what is going on in mine. Fortunately Joe has a work-issued laptop, but I only get to steal a few minutes alone with it after he comes home in the evening. Not long enough to do anything worthwhile. Facebook what?
Please don't take my screen silence as anything other than it is; a blogger, interrupted.
No babies yet. (Hopefully that will happen by this weekend and if it does...I'll find a way to let you know.)
No moving yet. (That's not for another couple of weeks. Fingers crossed we finally found a house!)
No nervous break down yet. (But stay tuned...it's bound to happen. Maybe it's a good thing I am unplugged right now...)
I hope all is well with all of you and that 2011 is starting off in all the best ways!
Until we blog again...
1.05.2011
1.04.2011
Potty Fingers
I received an email today.
Hello
I am an seo consultant for http://www.bathroomboutique.eu
We would like to exchange links with your web site http://hangingbyasilverlining.blogspot.com/ as our sites are related by the topic bathroom.
"Bathroom"? Really?!
Do I talk about bathroom stuff that much? I mean I guess I did dedicate a whole post to finding humor in poop. And then there was that one time I actually took pictures of experiments performed on my pregnant pee.
But wait! Don't peg me for that kind of blogger! I mean...I can't even bring myself to type the "c" word on my blog. You know the one. It rhymes with trap.
I thought I was a fairly classy blogger, but it would appear that I am in need of more uplifting blog post topics. Ones that perhaps do NOT involve bodily functions.
But I'm a mom (soon-to-be) raising four children ages six and under...What else is there to talk about???
Hello
I am an seo consultant for http://www.bathroomboutique.eu
We would like to exchange links with your web site http://hangingbyasilverlining.blogspot.com/ as our sites are related by the topic bathroom.
"Bathroom"? Really?!
Do I talk about bathroom stuff that much? I mean I guess I did dedicate a whole post to finding humor in poop. And then there was that one time I actually took pictures of experiments performed on my pregnant pee.
But wait! Don't peg me for that kind of blogger! I mean...I can't even bring myself to type the "c" word on my blog. You know the one. It rhymes with trap.
I thought I was a fairly classy blogger, but it would appear that I am in need of more uplifting blog post topics. Ones that perhaps do NOT involve bodily functions.
But I'm a mom (soon-to-be) raising four children ages six and under...What else is there to talk about???
1.02.2011
Cloud #4
Every time I peek at my blog (which is often, but unfortunately not with a willpower for wordplay) I can't help but look at that empty little cloud up there on my title picture and wonder...
What will she look like???
I can't wait to meet her! Only two more weeks...ish...
...and that is a very big ish.
What will she look like???
I can't wait to meet her! Only two more weeks...ish...
...and that is a very big ish.
12.25.2010
2010 Christmas Card and Letter
In spite of my tongue-in-cheek rant against Christmas letters a few days ago, how could I resist sharing ours? Merry Christmas to all of our online friends and family!
*(Names and locations have been changed so as to be blog-friendly.)
Dear Friends and Family,
Our 2010 holiday letter is quickly becoming The Christmas Letter That Almost Wasn’t. In fact, if you are actually reading this and it isn’t Valentine’s Day, a Christmas miracle must have taken place. We keep thinking that one of these days life is bound to slow down a bit. Why are you laughing? It could happen. Although it certainly won’t be happening for us over the next several months.
As soon as the stockings are tucked in the boxes with care, we will be expecting the arrival of our fourth baby. SHE is due January 17th (coincidentally the exact same day as Dee was due) and we look forward to meeting her. We are hoping she will come with her name tattooed somewhere as we are still clueless about what to call her. Watch for baby announcements in the next month or so.
Once the baby is safely here and I have a week or so to recover we will be packing up our household and moving where Joe has accepted a job offer with the corporate part of Komatsu. You may be thinking “Didn’t they just get a new job and move?” and you would be thinking right. At the beginning of this year Joe was teaching Cummins Power Generation at Universal Technical Institute in Arizona. In May he took a job with Komatsu Equipment Company as a field technician in another state, helping build the HUGE mine haul trucks for the surrounding mines. This job with its abundance of overtime has been a great blessing and we have been enjoying being so much closer to our families. We assumed we would be living in this town for a few more years at least, but you know what happens when you assume, right?
In early December Joe went to a training program for Komatsu. He must have done something to impress somebody because they asked him if he would be interested in taking a trainer position with Komatsu Corporate in another state. We weren’t even searching for a job, but after much deliberation we have decided to take it. We will be moving AGAIN at the end of January. I think I am beginning to understand how Mary felt just a little. Fortunately, I get to ride in a mini-van and NOT on the back of a donkey.
The kids are amazingly resilient in spite their parents’ knack for shaking things up every six months. Dee will turn six years old in January. He started Kindergarten this year and is head over heels for school and his wonderful teacher. He has improved so much this past year that he no longer requires speech therapy and is even testing at the top of his class. He is learning to read and is developing a love for the written word. When I asked him what his favorite things are his response was: “I love to go to Grandma’s house, go to school, and watch lots of TV”. (Did I really just admit that on our holiday letter?) I would also add his love for eating as I never seem to be able to satisfy his voracious appetite. Luckily his favorite foods are green apples and salad. Whew!
Jeigh is four years old which we seem to have a hard time convincing people of as she is so tall and well-versed. She squeaked into the last available spot at the local school’s preschool program this fall and is also testing at the top of her class. She maintains that dramatic flair she was born with sustaining “life-threatening” injuries on a daily basis. She loves spending time with her family, going to ballet class, reading books, and helping Mommy in the kitchen. She is rarely seen without a notepad and pen in hand and impresses us daily with her funny little drawings and knack for writing letters. She is a natural-born mommy and we are planning on allowing her to practice all she wants once baby #4 arrives.
Elle is two years old, but dying to be at least twice that. She has a hard time watching the bigger kids go to school every day. I will remind her of that when she complains about waking up every morning in ten years. She is a busy girl who has a special talent for getting into trouble; usually soapy, wet, lofty, or cosmetic trouble. She loves to read books, take baths, collect and chew on rocks, dance and sing, eat chocolate, and cuddle. We love our one and only little blondie (so far) and her sweet and funny ways.
Joe hasn’t done much this year besides work, work, and let’s see…work. When he isn’t working, he’s sleeping or eating. We have been so grateful for his dedication to providing for our family, but are really looking forward to having him home more often with this new job. This last month he took and passed the MSHA test, a big deal for his current job. He was pretty nervous about passing, but we knew he could do it. Passing this test meant a bonus, a raise, and merits on his resume. Although he hasn’t been able to go with us very often on trips home, he has enjoyed being closer to family. He continues to be a wonderful dad, husband, and provider.
As for me…I have been busy being a stay at home mom, doing less “staying” than the title would imply. With two kids in school it feels much of the day is spent chauffeuring back and forth between home and school. Earlier this year I started doing some freelance writing for a popular pregnancy and parenting website as a featured blogger. Personal blogging continues to be a favorite activity (http://hangingbyasilverlining.blogspot.com). Other than writing, raising kids, packing and unpacking our household, I have been busy growing a baby. A rather successful year I suppose.
We have loved reading all of your letters and cards and hearing what you and yours are up to. We are grateful for such wonderful and true friends and family and hope to continue to stay in touch over the coming year. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy Valentine’s Day…Whenever this letter gets to you…we hope you are happy, merry, and well!
Love, Our Family
*(Names and locations have been changed so as to be blog-friendly.)
Dear Friends and Family,
Our 2010 holiday letter is quickly becoming The Christmas Letter That Almost Wasn’t. In fact, if you are actually reading this and it isn’t Valentine’s Day, a Christmas miracle must have taken place. We keep thinking that one of these days life is bound to slow down a bit. Why are you laughing? It could happen. Although it certainly won’t be happening for us over the next several months.
As soon as the stockings are tucked in the boxes with care, we will be expecting the arrival of our fourth baby. SHE is due January 17th (coincidentally the exact same day as Dee was due) and we look forward to meeting her. We are hoping she will come with her name tattooed somewhere as we are still clueless about what to call her. Watch for baby announcements in the next month or so.
Once the baby is safely here and I have a week or so to recover we will be packing up our household and moving where Joe has accepted a job offer with the corporate part of Komatsu. You may be thinking “Didn’t they just get a new job and move?” and you would be thinking right. At the beginning of this year Joe was teaching Cummins Power Generation at Universal Technical Institute in Arizona. In May he took a job with Komatsu Equipment Company as a field technician in another state, helping build the HUGE mine haul trucks for the surrounding mines. This job with its abundance of overtime has been a great blessing and we have been enjoying being so much closer to our families. We assumed we would be living in this town for a few more years at least, but you know what happens when you assume, right?
In early December Joe went to a training program for Komatsu. He must have done something to impress somebody because they asked him if he would be interested in taking a trainer position with Komatsu Corporate in another state. We weren’t even searching for a job, but after much deliberation we have decided to take it. We will be moving AGAIN at the end of January. I think I am beginning to understand how Mary felt just a little. Fortunately, I get to ride in a mini-van and NOT on the back of a donkey.
The kids are amazingly resilient in spite their parents’ knack for shaking things up every six months. Dee will turn six years old in January. He started Kindergarten this year and is head over heels for school and his wonderful teacher. He has improved so much this past year that he no longer requires speech therapy and is even testing at the top of his class. He is learning to read and is developing a love for the written word. When I asked him what his favorite things are his response was: “I love to go to Grandma’s house, go to school, and watch lots of TV”. (Did I really just admit that on our holiday letter?) I would also add his love for eating as I never seem to be able to satisfy his voracious appetite. Luckily his favorite foods are green apples and salad. Whew!
Jeigh is four years old which we seem to have a hard time convincing people of as she is so tall and well-versed. She squeaked into the last available spot at the local school’s preschool program this fall and is also testing at the top of her class. She maintains that dramatic flair she was born with sustaining “life-threatening” injuries on a daily basis. She loves spending time with her family, going to ballet class, reading books, and helping Mommy in the kitchen. She is rarely seen without a notepad and pen in hand and impresses us daily with her funny little drawings and knack for writing letters. She is a natural-born mommy and we are planning on allowing her to practice all she wants once baby #4 arrives.
Elle is two years old, but dying to be at least twice that. She has a hard time watching the bigger kids go to school every day. I will remind her of that when she complains about waking up every morning in ten years. She is a busy girl who has a special talent for getting into trouble; usually soapy, wet, lofty, or cosmetic trouble. She loves to read books, take baths, collect and chew on rocks, dance and sing, eat chocolate, and cuddle. We love our one and only little blondie (so far) and her sweet and funny ways.
Joe hasn’t done much this year besides work, work, and let’s see…work. When he isn’t working, he’s sleeping or eating. We have been so grateful for his dedication to providing for our family, but are really looking forward to having him home more often with this new job. This last month he took and passed the MSHA test, a big deal for his current job. He was pretty nervous about passing, but we knew he could do it. Passing this test meant a bonus, a raise, and merits on his resume. Although he hasn’t been able to go with us very often on trips home, he has enjoyed being closer to family. He continues to be a wonderful dad, husband, and provider.
As for me…I have been busy being a stay at home mom, doing less “staying” than the title would imply. With two kids in school it feels much of the day is spent chauffeuring back and forth between home and school. Earlier this year I started doing some freelance writing for a popular pregnancy and parenting website as a featured blogger. Personal blogging continues to be a favorite activity (http://hangingbyasilverlining.blogspot.com). Other than writing, raising kids, packing and unpacking our household, I have been busy growing a baby. A rather successful year I suppose.
We have loved reading all of your letters and cards and hearing what you and yours are up to. We are grateful for such wonderful and true friends and family and hope to continue to stay in touch over the coming year. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy Valentine’s Day…Whenever this letter gets to you…we hope you are happy, merry, and well!
Love, Our Family
12.24.2010
Merry Christmas Mary
This will be the second Christmas I will spend 8 and 1/2 months pregnant. (You would think I would have learned by now.)
Needless to say, my thoughts turn to one particular person who is vital to the Christmas Story.
I can't even picture getting my leg over a donkey's back in my current swollen and sore state, much less riding one for days on end.
I am worried about the small-town hospital here being "good enough" for my encroaching labor and delivery. A stable??? A stable. Complete with hay, animals, cold, and poop.
I get anxious thinking about the pain of labor. I will have nurses and doctors attending my birth with medications and interventions on hand, "just in case". I wonder if Mary even felt the irritating scratch of the hay beneath her as she labored and delivered alone.
My husband will calmly and lovingly stand by as the professionals take care of everything. All he has to do is cut the cord. Do you think Joseph delivered the baby all by himself that night?
Thinking about capably raising four children causes me to lose sleep. I'm not even anticipating being the one to raise the Son of God.
How did she do it? What were her thoughts? Was she afraid of the task that lay before her or was she chosen because of how gracefully she would accept her heavenly responsibility?
Merry Christmas to you all. In the midst of all the packages, goodies, fun, and chaos may we all remember the true reason for the season.
Needless to say, my thoughts turn to one particular person who is vital to the Christmas Story.
I can't even picture getting my leg over a donkey's back in my current swollen and sore state, much less riding one for days on end.I am worried about the small-town hospital here being "good enough" for my encroaching labor and delivery. A stable??? A stable. Complete with hay, animals, cold, and poop.
I get anxious thinking about the pain of labor. I will have nurses and doctors attending my birth with medications and interventions on hand, "just in case". I wonder if Mary even felt the irritating scratch of the hay beneath her as she labored and delivered alone.
My husband will calmly and lovingly stand by as the professionals take care of everything. All he has to do is cut the cord. Do you think Joseph delivered the baby all by himself that night?
Thinking about capably raising four children causes me to lose sleep. I'm not even anticipating being the one to raise the Son of God.
How did she do it? What were her thoughts? Was she afraid of the task that lay before her or was she chosen because of how gracefully she would accept her heavenly responsibility?
Merry Christmas to you all. In the midst of all the packages, goodies, fun, and chaos may we all remember the true reason for the season.
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