12.21.2010

Christmas Letter Carnage


Christmas cards, or rather Christmas letters, are a rather narcissistic affair, don't you think?

Narcissism wrapped up in pretty bright red ribbon.

Every year I feel a little funny as I type out a letter telling you all about ME ME ME! Oh, and the rest of the fam too.

I tell you how in love with my husband I am and how stellar our marriage is.

I tell you all the amazing things my children have accomplished this year. I tell you how above average they are and how much they love to eat vegetables and walk and hug each other and recycle and behave like perfect angels when we never go out to eat at McDonald's.

I tell you how adorable they are and even send my best pictures to prove it.

Christmas letters are an open call for bragging rights and putting your very best foot forward.

In my Christmas letter, I will tell you all about how wonderful me and my family are. As if you care.

Funny thing is...I do. I LOVE reading others' Christmas letters. In fact, when we go home for the holiday, I always catch myself reading the stack of holiday letters sent to my parents. Even the ones from people I don't know. Somehow it's just kind of interesting to read about other people's lives.

But wouldn't it be crazy if we wrote what REALLY happened in our lives?

"Merry Christmas everybody! Well, little Jimmy is four this year and still throws one heckuva tantrum in the store every time we go out. We just go ahead and buy him the candy so as to shut him up. We gave up on potty training Sally. Older sister, Suzie, is still struggling with her eating disorder and Jim Bob started drinking again. All in all its been a good year. Mary is busy being a stay-at-home reality TV watcher which is an improvement considering how much she spent compulsively shopping last year. We would say we love and miss you all, but that would just be lying."

Who wants to read that on cheery snowflake-glittered holiday paper???

Yea. I would totally read it too!

By the way, I finally just finished writing my 2010 Christmas letter tonight. (So what if Christmas is four days away?) Don't worry! I kept it upbeat and cheerful and only told you the best parts. If I can get my printer to cooperate I would love to send you one...but only if you want to hear how amazing my life is. {wink, wink} Send me your address (hangingsilver@gmail.com) if you want one.

(P.S. I'll probably end up posting it on here at some point in case you have particular feelings for trees.)

Merry Christmas!

7 comments:

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Ah, the Christmas Brag Letter. I've been tempted to write a sarcastic one on the blog, but seeing as everyone's already read about my kids' exploits - guess I save it for next year.

Katy said...

That is exactly why I sent the photo card I did. All the world needed to be surprised about is that we're having another baby. My kids are much cuter in photo than behavior and I wanted to keep it that way with the holiday card.

Impulsive Addict said...

I've never done a Christmas letter but we get a few from friends and family and I really do like reading them. I think I'm just too lazy to write one. HOW SAD IS THAT?

I'm pathetic, I know. But I would TOTALLY love to read your bragging letter! =)

MiMi said...

I like reading Christmas letters and rolling my eyes at them. LOL!!
I would love if someone totally told the truth. The closest I've read is Sami's. Hers is HILARIOUS and real.

Sami said...

I just saw MiMi's comment about my letter, and it makes me want to go..."awww!" I love reading Christmas letters too. I have a strict policy against sugar coating mine too much, because I know that if I did, everyone would read it as completely sarcastic. Perhaps they know me too well...

Donny G Hazard said...

I was afraid of this in my christmas letter always am and that goes with my blog. That's why I try to be a realist, but who wants to hear that??? I don't know. I'm still trying to find the balance of it all, but I love reading them!!! bragging or not.

Donny G Hazard said...

Alyssa not Donny

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