The Good, the NOT Bad, and the Very UN-Ugly

(Cheesy? Probably. But how else do you thank the mysterious early morning snow shoveler?)

As I write this post my three oldest are playing outside in the backyard of our new house.

A fenced backyard. Of their very own. I think I'm gonna cry...

Happy tears!

I've always been a rather emotional person (you read my blog, right?) Over the last month those emotions have swung from despair and depression to joy and contentment.


And I would be a very ungrateful girl indeed if I didn't share it. It's too easy to write about all the trials and tribulations and soak up all the "poor Evelyn"s.

There is a balance.

For as insanely crazy and chaotic that the month of January was, so many good things happened and continue to happen. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I was this happy.

We have been blessed with family and friends who love us and give us so much support, encouragement, and love. We have felt the power of prayers, fasting, and love over the last several weeks.

I can't believe that this still surprises me, but it does. Over the last several weeks people would call or write out of the blue to tell me that they weren't sure why but they had been thinking of us and wondered if we needed anything. Amazing!

Packages of goodies and love arrived in our mail box. Homemade meals came to our door. Visitors sat in our living room unannounced but so very welcome. Blog friends who I have never met in person queried how we were doing and asked if there was anything they could do or just expressed the desire to be closer so they could help.

There were so many offers to help that I didn't even know what to tell people. I always feel kind of silly saying things like "just keep us in your prayers" or "we need your prayers", but if there was ever a time we needed prayers it was this last month. And those prayers were there and the power of them felt. Many times over.

I don't understand how. I don't understand why. I don't think we particularly deserved to be so blessed. We try to do good, but we certainly aren't the most righteous or generous or deserving folks.

In short, all that has happened this last month, the good and the bad, has been overwhelming and HUMBLING. Maybe that's why it happened. Because we needed a good humbling.

Note taken.

As grateful as we were for the help, it was hard to take it.

It was not easy to send my children away with my sister and mom for the better part of a week when I was in the hospital giving birth.

It was not easy to sit on the floor of our trailer in Nevada and watch nine men load up my house in a moving van in the space of an hour.

It was not easy to say "yes" when the Relief Societies of our church asked if they could bring in meals when we were all so sick and again after the baby was born and AGAIN when my husband left town a week after we moved to our new home.

It was not easy to watch my family set up my new house in the space of a day from the comfort of a recliner (something that would have taken me months to complete on my own with the "help" of three kids and a newborn).

It is not easy to feel worthy of so much concern and care. It is not easy to feel this indebted to so many people. It is not easy to find the right words to express the depth of gratitude I have.

I have every intention of paying it back and paying it forward. Possibly impossible, but I'll try anyway.

Starting now...


To all our family, to our friends, to the old ward, to the new ward, to the "neighborly" neighbors, to the bloggers, to the complete strangers, for the meals, for the gifts, for the muscles, for the time, for the sweat, for the child care, for the fresh fruit, for the reminders to take it easy and to absorb the time with our new baby, for the shoulders to cry on, for the sympathetic ears, for the hugs, for the phone calls, for the messages, for the hotel stay, for the snow shoveling, for showing up, for being there, for staying, for coming back, for asking again and again and again, FOR THE PRAYERS...THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts, from the bottom of our toes, and all the spaces in between!

Thank you.


Jenetta said...

Evelyn, this post brought tears to my eyes. Happy tears too! I can't tell you how many times you've been on my mind this past month or two. I've been so worried about you and so wishing I could help. I am so glad to hear you had tons of help especially with the moving and the childcare while you were having that adorable baby. I am so glad to hear of all the service that went on in your behalf. It helps me to realize how good people are and how much they care. And can I just say I'm totally jealous of your fenced back yard, heck your single-family home altogether! We will definitely have to come visit the next time we are around.

Sami said...

I just love you! I am overjoyed, and a little emotional myself to hear how things are FINALLY starting to be good for you. You deserve it more than most people I know, and while I sincerely wish I could have done more, I'm glad to know that other people stepped in where I could not.
You're amazing!

aubrey said...

Geez... you made me cry too. So glad things are starting to calm down for you. You're superwoman! I couldn't have done all that you just did and come out the other side of it all with my wits about me.

Jodi said...

So happy things are starting to slow down a bit for you. So happy you're in your own home with a backyard! So happy all went well with your beautiful baby!

Aren't people amazing? I agree about accepting help. It's the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn and I keep having to learn it over and over again! I'd much rather give than receive! Hope all the best things keep coming your way - you deserve it!

Debra said...

I am so happy that things are going your way now. You really deserve it. You are such a wonderful, caring person!

MiMi said...

This is a beautiful post friend. I'm so glad everyone helped when you needed it most!
It IS hard to accept things you don't feel you "deserve." But it just proves when people offer it, that you do!

Lisa said...

Ditto to everything said above! Love you! :)

Janna said...

Evelyn...you are an inspiration. For all that you have gone through in the last few months...and I bet anything you still have a smile on your face!

I was wondering how you were doing...so I am glad you posted today.

Have a great week!

Impulsive Addict said...

Awww...what a touching post. I'm so glad you had lots of caring people reaching out to you.

Are you getting adjusted ok? Can we see a pic of the baby?

Impulsive Addict said...

Let me clarify: An UPDATED picture! It's been a few days!

Wonder Woman said...

Gotta say once again, I am SO glad things are going well. I love that you are being embraced and loved and that you are seeing the rewards from all those prayers.

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

I don't think people would have been so eager to help if you weren't amazing people. Of course you are deserving of all those blessings of service! I'm really happy that you are so happy. I've never met you, but I think you're fantastic! I wish our moves hadn't happened at the same time, maybe we would have gotten to meet! But I still have family there, so maybe some day. :)

Myya said...

I love this post, like LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I love that you posted that sign on your garage. How awesome is that! I am so glad that things are well for you. You are one of the sweetest gals ever & man did you have a really REALLY hard beginning to the year. I am just so glad that all is falling into place. What awesome amazing people you have around you. I'm with IA a new pic of your little sweetie should be posted on a very regular basis. Oh & your sis needs to add little sweetie on her cloud :)

Mamarazzi said...

beautiful post girl. i read it in my reader yesterday but forgot to come over and say hello.

i love that people are taking care of you. your family has been in our prayers. the other day J was saying our night time family prayer and she was asking for special blessings for people she hears us praying for.

she paused for a second then said, "Please bless the lady who had the baby and moved from Nevada to Utah and her family. I can't remember her name but that should narrow it down and since you are God, i have a good idea you know who i am talking about"

i peed. it is REALLY hard to stay reverent with that kind of praying.

it killed me.

she was not snarky at all, she just said it very matter of fact. so cute.

i knew you would appreciate that!

{leah} said...

you are loved!


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