The Good, the NOT Bad, and the Very UN-Ugly
As I write this post my three oldest are playing outside in the backyard of our new house.
A fenced backyard. Of their very own. I think I'm gonna cry...
I've always been a rather emotional person (you read my blog, right?) Over the last month those emotions have swung from despair and depression to joy and contentment.
LIFE IS GOOD!
And I would be a very ungrateful girl indeed if I didn't share it. It's too easy to write about all the trials and tribulations and soak up all the "poor Evelyn"s.
There is a balance.
For as insanely crazy and chaotic that the month of January was, so many good things happened and continue to happen. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I was this happy.
We have been blessed with family and friends who love us and give us so much support, encouragement, and love. We have felt the power of prayers, fasting, and love over the last several weeks.
I can't believe that this still surprises me, but it does. Over the last several weeks people would call or write out of the blue to tell me that they weren't sure why but they had been thinking of us and wondered if we needed anything. Amazing!
Packages of goodies and love arrived in our mail box. Homemade meals came to our door. Visitors sat in our living room unannounced but so very welcome. Blog friends who I have never met in person queried how we were doing and asked if there was anything they could do or just expressed the desire to be closer so they could help.
There were so many offers to help that I didn't even know what to tell people. I always feel kind of silly saying things like "just keep us in your prayers" or "we need your prayers", but if there was ever a time we needed prayers it was this last month. And those prayers were there and the power of them felt. Many times over.
I don't understand how. I don't understand why. I don't think we particularly deserved to be so blessed. We try to do good, but we certainly aren't the most righteous or generous or deserving folks.
In short, all that has happened this last month, the good and the bad, has been overwhelming and HUMBLING. Maybe that's why it happened. Because we needed a good humbling.
As grateful as we were for the help, it was hard to take it.
It was not easy to send my children away with my sister and mom for the better part of a week when I was in the hospital giving birth.
It was not easy to sit on the floor of our trailer in Nevada and watch nine men load up my house in a moving van in the space of an hour.
It was not easy to say "yes" when the Relief Societies of our church asked if they could bring in meals when we were all so sick and again after the baby was born and AGAIN when my husband left town a week after we moved to our new home.
It was not easy to watch my family set up my new house in the space of a day from the comfort of a recliner (something that would have taken me months to complete on my own with the "help" of three kids and a newborn).
It is not easy to feel worthy of so much concern and care. It is not easy to feel this indebted to so many people. It is not easy to find the right words to express the depth of gratitude I have.
I have every intention of paying it back and paying it forward. Possibly impossible, but I'll try anyway.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!
To all our family, to our friends, to the old ward, to the new ward, to the "neighborly" neighbors, to the bloggers, to the complete strangers, for the meals, for the gifts, for the muscles, for the time, for the sweat, for the child care, for the fresh fruit, for the reminders to take it easy and to absorb the time with our new baby, for the shoulders to cry on, for the sympathetic ears, for the hugs, for the phone calls, for the messages, for the hotel stay, for the snow shoveling, for showing up, for being there, for staying, for coming back, for asking again and again and again, FOR THE PRAYERS...THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts, from the bottom of our toes, and all the spaces in between!