Miracles do exist. I'm here blogging two days in a row, aren't I? Miracle.

I wish it was about something more positive though. I'm finding myself in such a funk today. It all began last Thursday night...

That evening, I had the opportunity to donate blood for the first time in ten years. The Red Cross still had my maiden name on file, that's how long it has been.

I used to work as a phlebotomist and emergency department technician among other medical professions so I tend to get a little giddy around needles and blood. (You don't even have to tell me I'm twisted. I know.) My mental faculties were not what they should be. Blame it on the aforementioned twisted giddiness and loss of blood. I walked through the door upon my return home and there was my husband, brother-in-law, and a smattering of children sitting at the dinner table. A fantastic opportunity for random goofiness if there ever was one.

I fainted.

And it was a glorious production. I was committed. I fell and fell hard. Full body meets carpet. Right on my bag. Which had my phone in it.

Good grief. I may have lost 90 plus pounds, but nothing will call out your inner fat girl quicker than totally demolishing your phone simply by falling on it.

Several days later, I have a new phone (Thank you, Insurance Plan), but let me tell you what I don't have. I don't have $100 (No thank you, Insurance Plan Deductible). I don't have months upon months of calender notes. And I don't have five months worth of pictures and video. (I had been using my phone as my primary source of photography.) The guy at the Verizon store tried, but he just couldn't revive my phone. Death...by fat girl fake fainting. The dumbest reason ever for having to replace your phone.

A girl (fat or not) could cry.

Which I have to keep fighting the urge to do. That stupid little thing was my brain. I have no idea what commitments I have made over the next few months. I have no record of what happened over the summer. I have no pictures of my children from the entire summer. I don't even know when to expect my next period. (Judging by the unreasonable feelings of hostility and desperation I am experiencing about this whole thing...probably any day now.) 

?@%&*?!!@#FS*&>+!&^!@#$#%#$$@*&?!?! UGH!!!!!!!

I've got to stop writing about it or I may combust.

Note to self and note to you: STOP LEARNING THINGS THE HARD WAY!!! BACK UP EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!


MiMi said...

Awww. :( But calling out the inner fat girl? CRACK ME UP!

Myya said...

Booo! As a fellow mom who uses my phone for absolutely every single calendar update, photos galore, etc I am soooo sad for you. On another note, the fake fainting & doing damage (for it would be actually hurting myself) I'd totally something i would do.

{leah} said...

Sad I'm so sorry. I don't give blood because I ALWAYS pass out... or get sick... or the people poke me so many times because I have tiny veins I look like a junkie.....

Sorry about your phone,

{on a side note.... I would have totally liked to see you faint. I do it so often I would love to see someone else do it so I can see what I look like... I'm serious, I've passed out in the temple 3 times!}


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