I Can See Clearly Now, the Money's Gone

Last week I found myself being pressured by a salesman. And I totally caved into his sales pitch.

I am now the proud (and rather befuddled) owner of not one, but TWO brand new pairs of...


Glasses! Of all things to be pressured to buy.

I'm shaking my head as I write this.

How did one little weaselly salesman pressure me into buying two pairs of glasses that were not cheap by any definition?

The guy wasn't attractive. At all.

He didn't even have that presence that some salesmen have.

He was just pushy and really good at taking me on an all-expenses paid (me being the one who's paying all the expenses) guilt trip.

"Your son is practically blind! You don't want him to be blind for an entire week while we fix his old glasses do you? Do you?!"

Okay. That's not exactly how he said it, but that's how it came through my Be-a-Good-Mommy filter.

I don't know if eyeglass salesmen make a commission, but he also gave me some sob story about his mom having a really expensive surgery earlier that year and that he was now broke.

I think he was trying to connect with me.

Because obviously a mom of four kids is definitely broke.

At least that's what he assumed (and he would be just about right, but regardless!)

And since I am a mom of four kids and probably broke that's also why he decided to try to sell me every bell and whistle that can come with a pair of eye glasses.

Super sonic hydroponic superfluous lens coating does what exactly???

Even as I found myself agreeing to the purchase, I looked at him thinking to myself, "I don't really like you and how on earth did I let you convince me to do this?"

But the whole transaction took place so quickly that I didn't even really have time to say, "HOLD UP!!"

I'm not even sure I got the frames I wanted for myself or my son.

See, the eye doctor was incredibly nice. So nice I wanted to pick him up, take him home, and adopt him.

But I believe he may be in on the scheme.

During my eye exam he put those nasty little drops in my eyes to dilate them and by the time I found myself picking out frames I could hardly see my hand in front of my face. I couldn't even see the price tags on the frames.

Brilliant sales tactic, no? Blind 'em, then take 'em for all they're worth!

I was kind of lucky to make it out of there with my wallet still in my bag and all four children accounted for.

I think I may have needed an interpreter or mediator or lawyer just to purchase my glasses.

Or at least a nanny because I'm fairly certain my four kids were in on the heist too.

How was I supposed to make a clear-headed decision whilst repeatedly telling three of my kids to stop running around the office and to pick up the toys they had scattered all over, bouncing a fussy infant on my hip, and stopping the receptionists from feeding tootsie rolls to my milk allergy kid?

All while squinting through Bambi-sized pupils.

Car salesmen could learn a thing or two from the vision office.


Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Some places have a money-back guarantee if you don't like the lenses. I did that at America's best. I ended up not liking the way they looked on me, so I took them back and they let me pick out a new pair and the new lenses to go with them didn't cost me anything. Just in case you wanted to try that.
Salesmen/women suck. Big time. (That being said, my husband is one. But he's super nice and stuff - no funny business. Don't tell him I said those things.)

shortmama said...

That is the worst! I hope they last a long time so you get your moneys worth lol

Lisa said...

so sorry! But thanks for the early morning giggle! You're writing is AMAZING!

Laura said...


Dontcha know yur not supose a take kids wif ya ta dockturz visits?

Let alone the fact you can't see, the stress alone will cause you to cave in on the slightest sales pitch just to get the guy to shut up so you can get the kids the heck outta there.

Funny post!

Amy said...

Wow. taken from my journal (minus the lots of little kids. I only have 2). The super sonic hydroponic superfluous lens coating is a must have for me. It keeps reflections off the glasses. Which is important, otherwise you would be seeing the world through a reflection of your eyes. The tree would have a dark pupil shaped spot. The branches would be accented by the lashes reflection. It is very annoying.


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