When I woke up this morning I did so with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I was happy. Truly happy. I got busy with the hustle and bustle of the morning routine, but added "Put 'I love my little life!' on Facebook status" to my mental TO DO list.
Before I could get to it, I checked my email.
I should have gone to Facebook first.
My email contained some truly rotten news that rocked my world today. While I can't discuss it publicly, it's hard to leave the hurt alone. In true Evelyn-fashion I cried. A lot. As I cried I tried to figure out how to approach this new trial in our lives. Do I lay down and die? Do I run for the nearest chocolate store? Do I get angry? Do I burn a few bridges? Do I give up?
Maybe a little...
I can't quite decide. It's been a roller coaster day. A humbling day. I keep flitting between "MY LIFE IS OVER!" to "Maybe this could be a good thing" and back again. I can't quite decide how to feel about it.
A few things are certain though.
Life is going to be a little rocky for our family over the next several months.
And life will go on.
Back in April 2003 I recall a memory where I felt the same. I had just broken up with Joe (for the dozenth time and what I thought was "for good"). I had recently dropped out of college as I had been doing terribly in my classes. I had resigned myself to taking a break and working for a bit to save money. The next day I was fired from my job, a job I had had for a year and a half and one that I actually kind of enjoyed.
I thought my life was over. No job. No school. No boyfriend. No future.
Anyone care for a second serving of Humble Pie?
A week later (the future) I had a new dream job at the local Emergency Department and I was engaged to Joe. The opportunity to go back to school came later. Despite what I had thought a week before life did indeed go on and even get better. Better than what it had been only a mere week before.
You know that whole saying about "God closing doors and opening windows"? I'm hoping that still holds true like it did in April 2003.
So yes, I'm crying a lot today, but I'm also holding on to a shred of hope. My blog name is "Hanging by a Silver Lining" after all.