When I woke up this morning I did so with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I was happy. Truly happy. I got busy with the hustle and bustle of the morning routine, but added "Put 'I love my little life!' on Facebook status" to my mental TO DO list.
Before I could get to it, I checked my email.
I should have gone to Facebook first.
My email contained some truly rotten news that rocked my world today. While I can't discuss it publicly, it's hard to leave the hurt alone. In true Evelyn-fashion I cried. A lot. As I cried I tried to figure out how to approach this new trial in our lives. Do I lay down and die? Do I run for the nearest chocolate store? Do I get angry? Do I burn a few bridges? Do I give up?
Yes...
No...
Maybe a little...
I can't quite decide. It's been a roller coaster day. A humbling day. I keep flitting between "MY LIFE IS OVER!" to "Maybe this could be a good thing" and back again. I can't quite decide how to feel about it.
A few things are certain though.
Life is going to be a little rocky for our family over the next several months.
And life will go on.
Back in April 2003 I recall a memory where I felt the same. I had just broken up with Joe (for the dozenth time and what I thought was "for good"). I had recently dropped out of college as I had been doing terribly in my classes. I had resigned myself to taking a break and working for a bit to save money. The next day I was fired from my job, a job I had had for a year and a half and one that I actually kind of enjoyed.
I thought my life was over. No job. No school. No boyfriend. No future.
Anyone care for a second serving of Humble Pie?
A week later (the future) I had a new dream job at the local Emergency Department and I was engaged to Joe. The opportunity to go back to school came later. Despite what I had thought a week before life did indeed go on and even get better. Better than what it had been only a mere week before.
You know that whole saying about "God closing doors and opening windows"? I'm hoping that still holds true like it did in April 2003.
So yes, I'm crying a lot today, but I'm also holding on to a shred of hope. My blog name is "Hanging by a Silver Lining" after all.
13 comments:
Whatever is going on - I know you'll come through it an even more awesome person than you are now. Hang tight and pray a lot!
You are in my thoughts and prayers! I hope that whatever is going on will result in some blessings.
I'll be thinking of you and keeping your family in my prayers!
<> sweet mama. God is with us, and I believe you're right. Watch for a window to be opening up somewhere. Love you tons.
My hugs didn't come through in the last comment! By golly, I'm sending you hugs. They'd better post this time in the comment. HUGS!!!!
YOU are a rockstar and you can do anything! Seriously. Sending you love and prayers...
Whatever is happening, I truly believe that God opens windows and that the view from them can be so amazing. We have to trust first, and we have to be willing to open the blinds and look. I think that you can do anything!!
It is so hard, now, when you are just beginning a new trial, to see where this could go. After the end, and you look back, it's amazing to see how you got to where are you now.
Remember, He won't give you more then what you can handle. You have a wonderful support group online. I know I'll be praying for you. I hope all works out, and that you don't have too many down and out days. HUGS!
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
You will be good. A momma of 4 kids can't NOT be good and figure it out and rock it. :)
Oh, Evelyn! I wish I could come and hug you and tell you I love you. I will keep you in my prayers. Life just sucks sometimes, but I wish it didn't have to for you. Hang in there and know you are well loved. If you need anything, let me know.
Absolutely you need chocolate. With a good friend. So, I am volunteering myself. Tell me when (tomorrow?) and I will so be there. I am absolutely serious about this. If you don't tell me when, I may just show up. Because I am like that. :) Hugs and chocolate heading your way!
I feel so bad that I didn't read this post the other day. You ok my friend? Anything I can do? You're in my thoughts and prayers!
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