7.21.2010

On Wife-ing

It's Wednesday and that means another guest-post by Cannwin! Find me over at her blog today. We tackled the same topic: Wife-ing. Make sure to leave her a little bloggy love in the form of a comment and come visit me over at The Great and Random Ramblings of Cannwin. And Happy Wednesday!


A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. - Erma Bombeck


I have been married for nearly ten years now--we've been together for nearly eleven years--and you know what? He still buys me size 20 pants.

I used to think it was ridiculous for women to cry over such things... that was before I got married.

I used to say it was the wife's fault for marrying someone who can't tell sizes... before I got married.

Now I know.

"Honey." He'll say in that happy, boyishly excited tone. "I got you something."

Two things run through my head at this point--1) uh-oh 2) maybe he got something good this time. Inevitably I get my hopes up.

The worst present I've ever received was actually not clothing.

"You are going to love this!"

He got me so excited. I was practically bouncing when Christmas morning came.

It was two boxes. I opened the big one first (because big presents are rarely as good as small ones).

It was a remote controlled car.

"It's great isn't it?" My husband of three years asked me. I stared at him as he finished unwrapping it.

Then he handed me the next one. "Hurry, open it."

I hesitated, I had honestly thought this was a new camera, but I was beginning to rethink that assumption (you know what happens when people assume, don't you?). It was a battery for the car.

Yep. That's what happens when you're married. It's not really a matter of marrying the right man. It's more a matter of marrying a MAN.

They just don't think the way women do. I could almost equate it to taking a child shopping for a friends birthday, they always buy what they want.

One time he did, honestly try... and that's the time I cried. I had been out with friends watching a monumentally sappy love story and when I got home I was filled with an overabundance of love for him.

"I love you!" I exclaimed passionately.

"I love you too." He said equally as fervent. "And I bought you something."

What a man, I thought to myself. Without hesitation I ripped the bag open. It was a pair of Arizona State capris (Sparky sitting neatly on the side of my behind). I lifted them excitedly into the air and unfolded them.

And unfolded.
And unfolded.
And unfolded.

"Honey!" I cried out, "what size do you think I am?"

His face went from giddy to guarded in .02 seconds.

Poor guy, he didn't understand why I burst into tears. He didn't understand why I would barely talk to him for the rest of the night. It wasn't his fault that I'm a woman and full of inexplicable, uncontrollable emotions.

As the years have gone past I've learned to deal with these 'presents' I just smile, pat his arm and take them down to my sewing machine.... hoping that at some point in our lives I don't actually fit into the clothes he buys me.

And to me, that's what wife-ing is all about. Learning to deal with the idiosyncrasies that make men what they are.... all logic.

My friends tell me I should just buy him things I want for his birthday. I can't do that, because in all honesty I know that he's trying his hardest and I sure do love the effort.

15 comments:

Sarahie said...

This is something I am still working on learning. You have a beautiful perspective; thank you for sharing.

P.S. Last Christmas, my husband was super excited to give me my gift: a cutting board and knife (which he sharpened extra sharp just for me)!

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Effort in a marriage really is a very important thing - even if it doesn't translate into success very often. :)

Lisa said...

That's awesome. Sooo funny. Glad that we all married men that act the same!

Evelyn @ Hanging by a Silver Lining said...

Heaven knows I love my husband, but he absolutely stinks in the effort area when it comes to gift giving. As in he doesn't even try. He has never bought me an article of clothing and as for gifts...I can only think of the time he bought me scrap booking stuff, but that was after MUCH blatant hint-dropping and out-right asking. Oh well...he sure makes up for it in other areas.

Ivy said...

That size 20 pants story makes me laugh!!!! It's so funny!!!!

My husband and I are completely different in our gift buying. He spends way too much money and buys me things that are not practical even though I've tried to tell him many times that practical is really what I like to get.

I usually buy him practical things although I know he'd rather have something like a weekend get-away or a really big tv.

Cannwin said...

Evelyn, at Christmas time I flat out give him lists and photos and every single help I can come up with and he still struggles. I think he's learning, though, that jewelry is always a safe assumption... and who can really complain about that?

Jennifer said...

I give my husband lists of exactly what I want, where he can buy it, and how much he should spend on it. Pictures and web links are also good. All this saves me from getting things like a computer keyboard or a blow dryer for my birthday. Most of the time.

iamwoman said...

So this is embarrassing and probably the wrong time to mention it... but my hubby is a better gift giver than me. He actually writes things down that I say throughout the year. As if I have the initiative to do the same thing. whatev.

BUT-- if I do remember correctly, our 1st Christmas gifted me with a banana holder and computer speakers. nice.

Myya said...

Oh my goodness isn't that the truth! Mine most of the time doesn't even attempt, he just hands me money & tells me to buy something. Of course I never do, it always gets spent on something for the kids or the house. ehhh what can ya do, they don't think the same way we do! :

Mamarazzi said...

H=I=L=A=R=I=O=U=S

seriously you are a trooper.

i am so glad my hubz is a good gift giver.

i love love love that you guys do a weekly blog swap. great idea!

Sami said...

I LOVE THIS!!! Luckily, my hubby has always been really good at buying me gifts, but when it comes to clothes, I still make a list of spefific colors, styles, and SIZES from my favorite catalogs. I have enough things that make me burst into tears for no reason!

Chels said...

Lunablue just gave me a link to this post - because I just posted about how my husband gave me a Playstation 3 and a book of sex moves for my birthday. Aren't men gems?

Cannwin said...

Chels, I just squealed with delight and shouted to the room at large that "Someone linked a blog post of mine!"

You just made my day :)

Katie said...

Men really have problems with figuring out women's sizes don't they? Whenever I pick something out my husband says, "Isn't that kind of small? It looks like kid clothes." Well what size do you think I am? I have to remind him that I am a good foot shorter than him and my clothes are going to be smaller than he's used to... haha.

Cbelle said...

My husband wouldn't even think of buying me clothes, but he does a great job (so far) on my presents. We've been married three years and every birthday and Christmas he has done a great job both with what he gets and surprising me. Guess I just got lucky!

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