12.01.2010

Missing My Mojo


When I was a teenager I regularly visited the same hair stylist to get my hair cut and styled. She was awesome! I could count on her to do exactly what I wanted if not better every single time.

And then she got pregnant. And something changed.

It started to become a game of hit and miss when I went in to get my routine hair cut. And as most of us are rather partial to what is going on on top of our heads, I wasn't game for Russian Roulette: Version Hair.

Back then I couldn't understand what had changed her hair cutting ability so drastically.

Now I get it.

You know what it was? It was those dang pregnancy hormones sucking the life out of her mojo.

My mojo is at an all time low. I think I kind of remember being a creative and funny blogger once upon a time. I believe I also enjoyed delving into the creative process and power of writing about more emotional and tender things too. On top of that, I am under the slight impression that I used to be a kind and generous sort as well.

Now with pregnancy hormones raging at an all time high, I feel like an ugly bloated monster of irritation, crankiness, and moot points with little to offer anyone.

Sure there are procreative powers at work in this bulging belly here, but GONE are the creative powers from my muddled mind up here. GONE is the energy and ambition to be...well, nice and tolerant and companionable. GONE is the me I like.

There are so many pretty pretty posts that I have been itching to write and express and share with the world, but once I sit down to write and surrender those precious particles to my keyboard, I am bombarded with...static.

What happened to me??? What happened to my mojo?

That dang brain-sucking, life-giving placenta.

I just hope that once it exits the premises, the damage won't be permanent.

Sadly, my hair dresser never recovered from its effects. Will I share the same fate?

11 comments:

Lind Family said...

You are a rock star! I love you and know you'll be just fine. Pregnancy takes and takes. Just give it time after the babe is born. <3

Crystal and Scott said...

I totally think you still have your mojo! It amazes me that you still post at all while pregnant, as we all know what happened to my blogging-ness when I was pregnant. :) I'm still trying to kick myself back in gear.

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

pregnancy screws with everyone - don't worry. And you're almost done! I still like you. Your sass makes me feel more human, so in a way, you are being helpful and compassionate. :)

Jodi said...

I've never been one of those women who "love" being pregnant and personally I think anyone who says that is lying or just way too annoyingly positive!!:) Just think, it will be over soon and then you'll have that sweet little baby that will smell so yummy and you can snuggle with!

Katy B. said...

I think all mothers everywhere can relate to what you are going through....that whole "natural man is an enemy to God" thing quite frankly sucks. :) I know with all of my pregnancies I never felt like "me".....but I had many friends to remind me to put everything into perspective. Even though my entire being was on a huge emotional roller coaster....my right of angency, primarily, that of self control was still in tact. I controlled how I reacted and acted to everything in my life....not my baby, placenta, others around me.....just me.

Just remember that and you will be fine.

Jeigh said...

I'll say it straight up: I HATE being pregnant. As soon as I read that little pee stick, I wish I could be done. Soon, though, you'll be up late feeding your little sweetie and coming up with the most AMAZING, hilarious, heartfelt blog posts. I know it.

MiMi said...

Well...I lost my mojo 8 years ago when I got pregnant with my first. And I still don't have it back, so there ya go.

Sami said...

I don't know how I missed this post yesterday, but I don't think you've lost your mojo! Of course, I've only really read you WHILE you've been pregnant, so once little baby girl is here, I just might love you even more...if that's possible.
Which I don't think it is. :)

Myya said...

You will NOT lose it! More babies = more things to write about. These little people do & say things that nake for moments of awe, shock & any other emotion you can think of. You'll be alright, I promise! If not, you can come hunt me down :)

Lisa said...

Uh... silly girl. You still got it. :) I still love ya! Then again - I'm sharing the same fate. It's good to know we're both human. :)

shortmama said...

I lost my mojo and Im not even pregnant...just suffering from toofreakinbusywithhomeschoolandholidaystoothinkofanythingworthwhiletopostabout. Its real. I looked it up on Web MD

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