Auction Item #070708: 2 Year Old Child
*tap, tap, tap*
Your attention please.
The next item up for bid is my two year old child. This item has entered our auction as it has recently become overwhelming for the current possessor.
The exterior is in fantastic condition. Adorable facial features, lovely blond hair, brilliant little smile. Tall and sturdy frame.
The hot and cold features are in working order. Sometimes this item is sweet, loving, singing songs, drawing pictures, giving hugs, happy, and responsive. Other times it is destructive, sassy, messy, hitting, and screaming, whining, or crying.
There is some question about the reliability of the internal plumbing this morning. There may be a "slight" case of diarrhea that could cause for some embarrassing visit-teaching moments. The inspector also suspects a major gas leak.
This item currently resides between nap-time and time-out, but is DEFINITELY mobile. Most often functions at high speeds and loud volumes.
Will require constant maintenance and monitoring, but will pay for itself with the high-yield output of hugs, kisses, sweet little songs, giggles, grins, and little golden moments.
The bidding will now start at one Milky Way Midnight candy bar. Do I hear two??
Do I hear a case of MWMs, A Dr. Pepper on ice, date night with a nice meal AND a movie, and a two-hour long uninterrupted nap???