Auction Item #070708: 2 Year Old Child

*tap, tap, tap*

Your attention please.

The next item up for bid is my two year old child. This item has entered our auction as it has recently become overwhelming for the current possessor.

The exterior is in fantastic condition. Adorable facial features, lovely blond hair, brilliant little smile. Tall and sturdy frame.

The hot and cold features are in working order. Sometimes this item is sweet, loving, singing songs, drawing pictures, giving hugs, happy, and responsive. Other times it is destructive, sassy, messy, hitting, and screaming, whining, or crying.

There is some question about the reliability of the internal plumbing this morning. There may be a "slight" case of diarrhea that could cause for some embarrassing visit-teaching moments. The inspector also suspects a major gas leak.

This item currently resides between nap-time and time-out, but is DEFINITELY mobile. Most often functions at high speeds and loud volumes.

Will require constant maintenance and monitoring, but will pay for itself with the high-yield output of hugs, kisses, sweet little songs, giggles, grins, and little golden moments.

The bidding will now start at one Milky Way Midnight candy bar. Do I hear two??

Do I hear a case of MWMs, A Dr. Pepper on ice, date night with a nice meal AND a movie, and a two-hour long uninterrupted nap???



Sami said...

You had me until I got to the diarrhea and gas leak. Of course, since I can't really breathe through my nose right now...it might be the perfect time to make such an investment! Poke some holes in a flat rate box, and send her on over, she and Boo would have a BALL!

Telisha said...

You are too funny.

MiMi said...

Awww, I'll take her! Gas leak and all! She'd fit in perfectly here. :)

Jodi said...

I love to take her but alas I already have a similar model!

Lisa said...

My model seems to be defective as well! Who bought yours? And can we return them? ;-) Funny post!

Patty Ann said...

Love it! Good thing we can tell ourselves (when they are sleeping of course), that the good times far outweigh the bad. I think that is why Heavenly Father made the memories of mothers slightly defective.

iamwoman said...

This is SO so funny. I adored the commentary. You are so witty;)

what do you think about a kid-swap?
My 8 year old hormones for your 2 year old dare devil?

Alexis AKA MOM said...

HEHE LOVE it!! How about a trade? I have two boys?? :)

We have the same table and almost the same bench. And yup that same mess :)

I just love your header too cute!!!

Myya said...

I've got a 2 year old we could do a Two-Fer deal. Wait what am I saying lately the almost 5 year old would be much better up for auction. Mornings are great, she is wonderful at school, it's just the after school thing she hasn't quite gotten the hang of. whinny, loud, complete meltdowns at time. Geesh, enough already!!!

shortmama said...

Me me me! Holding up my paddle! Not the spanking kind either I swear!

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Love that candy necklace pose!

Sarahie said...

Oh my goodness! I love that last picture. And, the case of chocolate, Dr. Pepper on ice, dinner and a movie, with a 2-hour nap makes me wonder what I can auction off! Wait...I have a 2-year-old too!

If I lived closer, I'd offer a trade off for a day.


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