All Broken Up About It

I realized yesterday as I sat in my broken recliner holding my broken baby while not having my broken computer to work on that I was happy.

Truly.

And not happy because my life was so easy.

Happy because it has been hard.

(Not that it has been sooooo hard. I don't want this to be a whiny post. I hate when I go back and read my posts and they seem to be whiny. Example: yesterday's post. Sorry about that.)

No, my life is not hard, but no, it's not easy.

Because my life has not been easy and I have not always had every little thing I wanted all the time I am truly happy.

Because of that rotten, unhappy two years of imprisonment in Arizona, I now appreciate the beauty and grandeur of the majestic snow capped mountains I can see out the back porch from my broken recliner.

After living two and a half states away from my family, a two and a half hour drive with little kids in our one car is something to smile about.

Because of those two years spent in the hot, brown, dusty desert I appreciate the soft green grass growing in my backyard. After struggling through two intensely hot summers I don't complain anymore when the snow continues to cover that grassy backyard in April or May.

The small, ugly, gravel driveway of a "yard" we had in Nevada makes me thankful to actually have a backyard with grass and fences and nice neighbors who drop by to see how we are doing.

The teensy tinesy tin can of a trailer that came with that gravely driveway that I was so mortified to live in in Nevada has proven beneficial after all. Whenever I think of that "house" I am more than willing and happy to clean and care for this amazing house we live in now.

When I get frustrated with the children who keep the house in a constant state of chaos I think of the times I wondered if I was even going to be able to have children. Those heartbreaking months upon months of one lined pregnancy tests cause me to appreciate these four beautiful babies even when they drive me to craziness.

As I face health issues in the present I find myself wishing I had appreciated my good health when I had it. As I hopefully regain that health I will look back on times when it wasn't so great and appreciate how good it is to be of sound mind and body.

There is so much more.

But I don't need to tell you how life is hard.

I'm sure you know well enough from your own experiences.

But I want you to know too that I can be more than just whiny when my life is "hard". I can be happy when everything breaks because it makes me that much more grateful when things were much worse or when we didn't even have "things" to break.

The hard times are a blessing. They help us to be extra thankful for the not-so-hard times.

Today, I may be a little broken, but I am happy.