Mommy Paydays

Over the last couple of days, I have been catching glimpses of the future. And it looks pretty bright.

For the past eight years I have been mired down in the muck of young motherhood. While it hasn't been totally horrible...it's had its moments.

Being a young mom is hard.

I imagine being an old mom is hard too. I don't know yet. I'm not there...yet. When I walk in those shoes, I'll let you know how it is.

For now, I only know mountains of laundry and potty training and sleep deprivation and senseless, needless messes everywhere I look and sticky fingerprints and snotty noses and four year old interrogation and whining and two year old tantrums and Disney movies on repeat and nighttime anxiety and boxes of diapers and Cheerios smashed into car seats and an eight year old who is never full.

There is joy to balance out all that goo and grindstone. But, let's be honest. Sometimes those moments dim in comparison to the daily, monotonous, melancholy, messy routine.

But as mothers, we always have hope. The hope that our never-ending efforts will one day be rewarded with children who are self-sufficient, happy, well-adjusted individuals who contribute as much, if not more, than they take.

We hang on to the hope for Mommy Paydays. That the "check won't be in the mail" forever and that we will start to reap some of the fruit from the seeds we have so diligently been sowing day after day. That we will know we are making some difference little by little.

The last couple of days I've made a few deposits...

Last night as Jeigh got on stage, stood proudly on a chair beside me, and sang her little heart out...

Ka-ching!

Today as I watched both of my older children--voluntarily!--get up in Primary and bear their precious, sweet, little testimonies for the first time ever...

Ka-ching!

When Dee sat down in his chair afterwards and announced to the primary room, "I'm so happy! I love church now!" and I knew that that happy feeling he was feeling was the Spirit...

Ka-ching!

As I watch Elle growing and changing every single day, learning how to write letters, drawing and coloring for hours, being proactive about her gluten free diet, talking about how Jesus loves her...

Ka-ching!

While I struggle with Cee keeping her diaper on, I have hope that potty training is right around the corner and that very soon we will be done with diapers forever...

Ka-ching!

Every time I walk down the hall at bedtime to find these placed on the floor, waiting for me...

Ka-ching!

It dawned on me today, that young motherhood really won't last forever, even when it seems like it will. I can't wait for the future, the freedom, and all the Mommy Paydays that are there. But I'm enjoying my little paychecks now too. I really do love being a mom. Best. job. ever.

I Love You a Bushel and a Peck!

My six year old daughter, Jeigh, and I performed in our church talent show tonight! I just can't stop grinning about it! She was absolutely brilliant! She had no fear as she sang her part beautifully. Me on the other hand...I was shaking in my boots. Literally! I always get the worst stage fright, but having her on stage with me was comforting and inspiring. And it was just so much darn fun!

This is a dream that I've had for years. I've always loved to sing and always hoped that my children would share that same love and would want to sing--privately or publicly--with me. Two of my three older kids are rather shy about public displays, but Jeigh...she's always been a "performer". She loves an audience.

I was shocked at how good she was about preparing and practicing for her first public vocal performance. I suggested the song, "A Bushel and a Peck" from Guys and Dolls, a song I used to sing with my sister and some friends when we were in college. The kids and I sing bits and pieces of it around the house from time to time. I even have "I love you a bushel and a peck" in vinyl lettering on the wall. It was such a cute little song for our first mother/daughter duet.

She approved my suggestion and we began to practice. I assumed it was going to be a little rough and she would need some coaxing, if not full out bribery. But right from the get-go, she knew what she was doing. In fact, she was hardly going to let me sing as she claimed the first, second, and most of the third verse. "Mom, you can come in at the end," she said. I redirected her a bit, claiming the second verse as my own. I mean, what mom can resist the line "You make my heart a wreck and you make my life a mess. Yes, a mess of happiness!"?

As we went over the song with our accompanist, she followed the piano so well, naturally knowing when to come in and out. She constantly directed our practice with, "Let's go over that part again" or "One more time" or "We need dance moves!" I was awe-struck at her. She hardly needed my guidance. She's a total natural at this!

When the performance arrived, she picked our outfits and asked if she could wear a little makeup. It was so much fun just getting ready for the show. And then we did it and it went marvelously! We already have our next "gig". It's just singing in our church sacrament meeting in a couple of weeks, but this is the stuff that my dreams are made of. This is one of those "mommy paydays" that balances out the sleepless nights and potty training messes. And it is totally worth it!