Organized Chaos

On New Year's Day I made a subconscious resolution.

I will clean my bathrooms once a week.

Of all my household chores, cleaning the bathroom has to be the worst. It's just so...involved. Stinky chemicals, all that wiping and rewiping, keeping rags separate so as not to mix "toilet germies" with "sink germies",  making sure the kids aren't getting into anything hazardous or wet in the process.

And just when you get done with the sink and toilet, you see that stupid ring around the tub. Ugh.

The way I cleaned bathrooms before was...I just really didn't. At least not that often. At least not unless I knew company was coming. Gross. I know.

So, I decided to be ambitious and make it my goal in life to have a clean bathroom, at least one day out of each week this year.

 I declared Wednesdays to now officially be known as "Watercloset Wednesdays" and so far in the year 2013, I'm 4 for 4! Go me.

(That's probably about as many times as I cleaned my bathroom in 2012. Ha...ha...)

Now that I have relatively clean bathrooms, the rest of the house begs for attention. But Wednesdays are already jam packed with all that bathroom cleaning, so now we also have...

Make-up for the Weekend Monday
Toy Room Tuesday
Watercloset/Wipe Down Switches and Knobs with Clorox Wipes Wednesday
There's Gotta be Something that Needs Cleaned Thursday
and
Fancy Free Friday

You  might think I'm joking, but my housework has never felt so manageable. I used to try to follow the Fly Lady cleaning methods, but after getting a bajillion emails from her every day (Seriously. A BAJILLION!) I marked her as "Spam". Turns out the only thing I wanted to "fling" was her.

How to Preserve Leftover Easter Candy and Other Goodies

Last week I shared the success I had with preserving our leftover Easter candy. A few people asked me how I did it and, lucky you, I'm more than happy to share!

First, a disclaimer...I have no idea if this is the "right" way. There are actually several methods out there to dry packing and preserving food. This is just the way my sister and mom showed me how. They are pretty darn smart and resourceful women. I think we are in good hands.

You are going to need a few supplies to do this:

Leftover Easter candy (or Halloween or Christmas or chocolate chips or pretzels or cookies or whatever! Sky's the limit! Just nothing powdery; It gets sucked up in the tubing and out the lid and prevents sealing.)
Canning jars (Kerr, Ball, Mason are the best. I stock up on these at 50 cents/bottle every time I go to my local thrift store.)
Canning lids (You can find these at Walmart, other grocery stores, online, etc.)
Canning rings (They often come with the jars, but if they aren't look at Walmart and other stores. These aren't absolutely necessary, but they satisfy my obsessive compulsiveness, they double protect the sealing, and they just look nicer.)
A hair dryer (You can find this is in your local bathroom.)
A Food Saver/Ziploc Vacuum Pump gadget (I will explain how to rig this together.)
Tubing*** (Look at your local medical supply store or pharmacy.)

The Food Saver contraption (white lid looking thing) is actually an attachment for a bigger, more expensive machine. It would be awesome to have that machine, but my budget doesn't exactly allow for that right now. Fortunately, you can use a Ziploc Vacuum pump along with the Food Saver attachment to dry pack canning jars. Really!

My Food Saver attachment was a gift from a wise mom. Word on the street is that the Food Saver attachment is available at Walmart. I looked for it the other day and only saw the big machines. You can find the attachments for sale online, try the Food Saver website or Amazon.com. They come in wide mouth and regular mouth size.

You can find a Ziploc Vacuum Starter Kit at your local Walmart or grocery store.

To rig up your custom Food Saver/Ziploc Pump you need to take off the bottom rubber piece from the Ziploc pump that is used to vacuum out bags. Grab a milk jug lid off of an empty gallon milk jug and poke a small hole in the top, just big enough for the Food Saver tubing to fit snugly inside. The milk cap will fit perfectly over the end of the Ziploc pump.

Now use medical tape or duct tape or whatever you have to secure the milk cap on to the pump. Be certain that no air can leak from the hole in the lid or the edges of the lid or pump.

Stick the free end of the tubing*** into the Food Saver attachment and it's ready to use.

Clear as mud? If you have any questions just ask and I'll see what I can do to help!

Now, you need to prep your canning jars.

They need to be CLEAN and DRY. I wash mine with a bottle scrubber and a sink full of hot soapy water. A good rinse and a towel dry later, I use my blow dryer to make absolutely certain they are dry. Water could cause food contamination problems, so remember: A dry jar is a happy jar! Even if your husband laughs at you for blow drying jars in the kitchen...

After letting your jars cool completely (think melted chocolate if you don't), you can dump in whatever candy or goodies you have, leaving an inch of space from the top. Make sure to tap and twist your jar a few times to let the contents settle.

I had some really great coupons for these M&M candies that I wanted to use before they expired. But I had a ton of Easter candy that I just preserved. Normally I would have passed up the good deal on the M&Ms since I already had a bunch of candy sitting around, but by preserving them, I don't have to worry about them getting stale in the cupboard. (But between you and me, really...When have M&Ms ever been in the cupboard long enough to become "stale"? I know, I know. I'm laughing too.)

That's the beauty of this whole preservation thing! You can buy the holiday candy after the holiday, catching all the good deals, dry pack them at home and use them next year. They won't taste old and you will have saved money. Awesome, right?

Carefully place the canning lids on the jars.

Push the Food Saver contraption over the top of the jar with the lid on.

Turn once to secure on tightly. Pump a few times. If you hear a clicking noise and see the Food Saver moving up and down, you are doing it right. This is the sound of the lid sealing on to the jar. If you don't hear that noise, readjust the lid and Food Saver until you do. Make sure your jar top doesn't have any nicks or cracks or try a different lid if it still won't seal.

Pump 15 to 20 times total to make sure the lid is sealed. Remove the Food Saver and gently pull on it with your hands to double check.

Screw on canning ring. Write the date on the top.

Stare admiringly at your freshly "canned" goodies...

...And sleep well knowing you saved another bag of holiday candy from being mindlessly wasted. Be secure in the fact that while the rest of the world is looting grocery stores after the economy collapses, your family will be dining on the freshest 5 year old gummy worms you ever tasted. ;)

Post Post: I forgot to tell you...You can unseal and reseal your jars over and over again! Pretty cool, eh?

***Post Post Post: I ordered another food saver lid for myself after writing this post and there was NO plastic tubing in the box! I had assumed it came with the contraption. When I questioned my mom about this, she told me she had actually purchased the tubing from a medical supply store and that it does NOT come with the food saver lid. I'm sorry to complicate things, but add one more step: Go to your local medical supply store and purchase a short length of medical tubing (Ex: nasal cannula, oxygen tubing, IV tubing, etc.)

Post Post Post POST: Here's a vlog Jeigh and I made to show you how to drypack!

Vlog, She Spoke: How to Make a Picture Frame Wall

Here's the link for my picture frame intervention.

And here's the link for the vlog from a year ago.

And one more link for my favorite vinyl dealer in case you're looking for someone.

Have a great Friday ya'll!

The Proper Protocol for Purchasing Pregnancy Tests

As of late, my little newborn Cee has developed a picky palate when it comes to nursing.

(Really? Breastfeeding again?!)

(Yep. Really. That's twice in one week. I really need to get out more.)

She's started to squirm and wriggle and even pull away crying when I have tried to nurse her lately.

Uh oh.

When my mom was nursing me when I was two months old, I started to do the same thing.

Wanna know why?

Because my mom was pregnant with my little sister. (We are eleven months apart. Good grief. Could you even imagine???)

Since history tends to repeat itself...I rationally and calmly began to totally freak out. One thing you need to know about me...I like to jump to the worst conclusion possible first. That way I know I will be prepared for anything.

Well, I guess I'm not prepared for ANYTHING. I don't exactly stock up on home pregnancy tests.

Needing to put my tortured mind at ease, I started to plan my trip to the store to purchase a home pregnancy test.

And yes. I did use the word “plan”.

A woman in my position does not take buying a pregnancy test lightly. There is some policy and procedure to be followed in purchasing pregnancy tests.

Allow me to enlighten you on this protocol.

A woman in my situation, that situation being a mother of four children, ranging from ages six years old to newborn, cannot simply dash to the store wearing her pajamas, with four snotty nosed kids in tow, grab a handful of cheap pregnancy tests, and dash back home again. There are details to be attended to in order to avoid The Checkout of Shame.

Firstly, whatever you do, DON’T take the four kids to the store with you. Especially the newborn. No need to send everyone in a panic that you and your husband are single-handedly repopulating the planet. That or deal with the whispering gossip about you-know-who can’t keep their pants on. The resulting embarrassment could just be too much to handle.

If you simply can’t avoid taking your entourage to the store, at least try to convince people you’re the nanny, fun aunt, or helpful friend. It probably won’t work, but it’s worth a shot.

If you do take the kids, make sure they are dressed to the nines, hair combed and styled, and have clean hands and faces. Be absolutely certain they will not misbehave in the store, therefore drawing unwanted attention to you as you peruse the family planning aisle of the store.

Carry tissues with you to catch any stray boogers. If you have to bring the kids and people are clever enough to see the family resemblance, at least people will assume you are Supermom, that you have it all put together, and that a fifth baby will only be a piece of cake instead of just another piece of welfare woe.

It’s not just the children who need to look squeaky clean.

Put some pants on, Mama. And not your stretchy ones or that pair of jeans stained with newborn baby poop and spit up. And don't even think about sneaking on the maternity pants. You raise your arms and that panel is a dead give away.

Take a shower. Dress up. Do your hair. And for heaven’s sake slap some makeup on. We are going for classy here. Not out-of-control, rabbit-breeding freak.

Once you are at the store, looking more like a civilized human being than you normally do, and have decided on which pregnancy test you are going to purchase, take the pregnancy test and stash it in the bottom of your grocery cart. This will prevent judgmental looks from other shoppers. At least until you get to the checkout stand.

Even if you don’t need a single other thing than the pregnancy test, grab a few other items to purchase along with your pregnancy test. This will create the outward appearance of nonchalance about pregnancy.

“Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. What’s it to you?”

If you drop a single pregnancy test on the checkout counter and nothing else, you know what people are going to assume. By purchasing other items along with your at home pregnancy test, you might be able to avoid the critical stares from the cashier and nearby shoppers.

Word to the wise: Maybe avoid items like duct tape, toilet snakes, two or more boxes of diapers, and condoms.

Finally, make sure that all your movements are slow and deliberate. Don’t rush. Don’t look flustered or sweaty or out of control. Don’t let them see the fear in your eyes.

Good. Now that you have purchased your pregnancy test and are safely back at home, take pregnancy test. Never mind the toddler banging on the door and the newborn wailing from her car seat. We've got priorities. We need to KNOW if you've got plans to claim TWO new dependents for the year 2011.

What does it say???

A
.
.
.
.
.
.
big
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
fat
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
NEGATIVE!

Whew.

So does this mean I'm not allowed to wear my maternity pants anymore???

Symfully Dulce Sabado - How to Make a Pinata

I really dropped the ball last month on Sami's Symfully Sweet Saturday. No inspirational thoughts floated my way in spite of all the candy corn I ate hoping to find some. Maybe it was the sugar-induced coma setting in instead...

I was bound and determined to make it happen this month. And make it happen I did...

In a hit-two-birds-with-one-stone kind of way no less. (Or should I say: hit-two-birds-whilst-blindfolded-with-one-bat kind of way?)

I have been in search of some new family holiday traditions for my family for the past couple of years. Last Christmas I researched pinatas and brought a couple to our family get-together hoping to teach my family a few facts about the history and meaning of pinatas whilst bribing them with the candies inside to at least pretend to be interested in my little spiel.

It kind of worked. But I'm sure all was forgotten once the bat came out and the candy went flying. Oh well. At least maybe my nieces and nephews will connect sweet, delicious showers of candy with their favorite Aunt Evelyn, automatically making me the coolest aunt ever!

Intent on reinforcing the sweet connection (har har har) with my siblings' kids I brought pinatas (homemade this time!) for our Thanksgiving get together this year. And what did I stuff my pinatas with???

Thank you for the inspiration Sami!

Have you ever made a pinata? It really isn't too difficult to do and it can be a ton of fun. My kids are fairly convinced that their mom is about the coolest (and craziest) lady there ever was now that they have watched me make a couple...in the middle of our kitchen...over the course of three days.

For ONE pinata you will need:
-twine
-one balloon
-newspaper or paper torn into strips (about one inch)


-flour
-water
-whatever decorating supplies you want
-CANDY! (in this case mini Hershey candy bars! YUM!)

1. Blow up balloon and tie securely. Hang upside down with twine. Make sure to spread paper beneath your balloon to catch the paste drips.


2. Make flour/water paste by combining two parts water with one part flour. You want your paste to be runny like thick glue. Mix it well so there are no lumps. (NOTE: I used one heaping cup flour with not quite two cups warm water for each layer I put on my TWO balloons.)


3. Dip paper strips in flour paste and run through fingers so as to strip off excess paste. You want your strips to be wet but not sopping wet. Apply strip smoothly to balloon. Continue applying strips until the entire balloon is evenly covered.



4. Allow plenty of time for wet paper layer to dry. Count on as much as 12 hours. It is important to heed this step. If you try to apply another layer before the first is dry, the pinata can become very heavy and misshapen.


5. Repeat STEPS 3 and 4 applying a second and then third layer, giving adequate drying time in between.


6. Once pinata is completely dry, cut it down from the twine leaving extra twine to use to hang it later. Pop, deflate, and remove balloon.


7. Time to decorate! Since these pinatas were intended for our Thanksgiving activities, I made turkeys out of my pinatas. After my first layer of paper had dried, I rehung my pinatas horizontally so as to take advantage of the shape. Obviously you can take whatever artistic liberties you choose to.


After cutting a small hole in the top of my pinata for candy filling later, I hot glued white paper streamers all around the pinata. I poked a second hole at one end of the pinata and inserted a toilet paper roll for the turkey's neck. I attached a Styrofoam ball onto the end of the TP roll for the head. I hot glued feathers on the bum, orange pipe cleaner feet on the bottom, and a pink balloon waddle on the face along with a beak and eyes.



Sure he's a goofy looking guy, but come on... Have you ever seen a handsome turkey?

8. Once your pinata is decorated, carefully fill with the candy of your choice. I highly suggest miniature Hershey candy bars (wink, wink). This is my sister Erin taking care of the turkey "stuffing" and some of the kids "helping" by devouring any stray candies.


9. Hang the finished pinata and let the blindfolded and be-weaponed kids at it.




And do be careful not to have any America's Funniest Home Videos moments. Can you believe they still show those clips on every episode? How predictable. There's a kid. a pinata. a bat. and some dude dumb enough to stand within crotch-hitting range. Hmm...I wonder what will happen next?

How to How-To

I had every good intention of putting together a smashing How-To for my dear readers today, but every piece of bad luck and whiny kids and empty printer cartridges forbade me from doing so.

Ahhh well. Better luck tomorrow.

In the meantime, I have been brain storming what else I could How-To today.

How about How to Be the Mother of the Year? Nah. I believe my ever-loving and eternally-patient vocal chords hit too many decibels today to qualify for that one. Plus, I totally missed that Jeigh had a big preschool family picture collage due today. Every other kid in her class had a poster of their family to proudly display to the class...except Jeigh. How early is too early to start therapy?

How to Train Your Dragon? Think someone beat me to it. Besides, I believe the dragons are hibernating by now or something.

How to Make a Pregnant Woman Cry? Well, that's just plain easy. I'm sure the list would include things like: Look at her funny, turn on Christmas music, tell her the already expensive minivan repairs are going to cost an additional $600, point out AGAIN how she didn't know about the preschool family picture poster project, talk about anything that involves birth, daddies, third-world countries, or tomatoes.

How to Be a Winner? Isn't it obvious? Just go visit Sami at Symmetry in Motion on Quince Quote Day. Woo hoo! (Thanks again, Sami!)


How to Sustain a Halloween Candy Sugar High? No one needs to know about that. I can't even talk about it. My headache is already too intense. Dr. Pepper anyone?

How to Potty Train Your Precious Princess with Perspiration-Free Perfection? Don't ask me. I'm too busy washing dozens of pairs of little teeny tiny underwears and patches of carpet.

How to be Embarrassed in Public? Have your five-year old son find an anatomy and physiology book while you are waiting in the lobby of your daughter's dance studio and turn bright flaming red as he proceeds to find, point, and giggle loudly at every single "peniculi" in that dang book.

How to Be Further Embarrassed in Public? Lose your two oldest children in Walmart, only to find them by the sounds of loud singing, laughing, and arguing echoing from the public restrooms.

How to Sneak Some Christmas Shopping in While Accompanied by Your Four-Year Old? Don't even try. They are far too observant and nosy by this age. My, what a difference a year makes.

How to Lose Ten Years and Fifty Pounds in a Second? It's going to sound a little shady for a woman of my age and in my condition (you know...happily married, plumply pregnant, and constantly followed by three offspring) but go to our local Taco Bell and allow the drive-through dudes to sweet-talk you silly. I blush every single time. And no it's not from the hot sauce. Maybe that could explain my cravings for nachos...

I don't think anyone needs tutorials on any of that stuff. Like I said earlier...Better luck tomorrow.

How to Give Super Nanny a Run For Her Money

(So, what are you thinking about my How-To Week so far? Is it a keeper?)

When my grandmother passed away, I inherited a lovely master bedroom set. The king -sized bed frame and mattress was a timely blessing as I met my future husband only a month later and would soon be in need of a matrimonial resting place. As grateful as I was for my inherited bed set, the twenty plus year old mattress was a little funky to sleep on, especially considering it came complete with body shapes already permanently formed on each side. As much as I loved my grandma, it was weird.

A few years later, we were able to afford a new mattress. Life just doesn't get much better when you have a new comfortable mattress. Especially a king-sized comfortable mattress. It didn't take long for our kids to realize this either and ever since we've spent few nights alone in our inherited/new/king-sized/comfortable bed.

I am a bed hog and I like my space, especially if it involves getting a good night's rest. I HATE having the kids in our bed. So, I set about devising a way to stop the sleepy stowaways this summer.

We had tried many other tactics, even Super Nanny's technique of repetitively taking them back to bed. We had tried the whole school of thought to make the night time visitors take a spot on the floor by our bed. They didn't care. They would curl up on the floor and as soon as we drifted off, they would sneak into our bed. We tried gentle reminders and angry demands. Nothing worked.

One day, it dawned upon me. It was so simple, I initially figured it wouldn't work. But wonder of wonders, miracles of miracles...IT DID! Take THAT Super Nanny!

How to Stop Co-sleeping in its Sleepy Little Tracks:


I have a few dry erase boards on my fridge. I told the kids that each night they would stay in their own beds ALL night that I would give them a star. After they had each earned seven stars we would go as a family to the local swimming pool that they had already been begging to go to.

They were instantly on board...until the middle of the first night when they both came creeping in, steadfast in their bad bed habits. After a few reminders of the star system and a few return trips to their bedroom, they started to catch on.

The next morning they anxiously asked if they could have a star. I'm a stickler. No stars for that night. They realized I was serious though and they tried harder the next night. Dee successfully stayed in his bed ALL night. Jeigh...not so much, but when she saw that Dee got his first star the next morning, she resolved to try harder.

Over the course of the next two weeks, they both earned all seven stars. As promised, off to the pool we went!


I was so proud of them for showing some self-control, discipline, and responsibility for their actions. And I was pretty proud of me for figuring out such a simple solution to end our sleep struggles. No money spent. No complicated charts (which I wouldn't have known how to make anyway). No spanking or anger.

And the idea stuck for several months after. To be honest, they are slipping back into their old wee-hours wandering ways, but now I know what I can do to stop my little sleepwalkers.

Give it a try! You will be amazed at how simple manipulating controlling helping your kids to overcome bad habits can be.

How to Make Your Way to a Man's Heart

And that, my friends, is most definitely through his stomach. At least in Joe's case. And I must love him a lot because he has gained a good 70 pounds since our wedding day. As for my weight gain...well, let's not stray into dangerous waters today, shall we?

Our little how-to for today is how to make one of Joe's favorite recipes: Homemade Pasta Carbonara. Simple to make. Fattening beyond belief. Delicious to the taste. Husband made blissfully happy.


Pasta Carbonara (8 servings)

5 cups (1 package) uncooked mostaccioli or penne pasta
1 package bacon, diced
1 jar (8 oz) whole mushrooms, drained
1 and 1/2 cups half and half cream
2/3 cup butter, cubed
2 tsp dried parsley flakes
2 tsp minced garlic
12-16 drops hot pepper sauce
1 tsp salt, optional
2/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup sliced green onions, optional

1. Cook the pasta according to package directions.

2. In a large skillet, cook bacon over medium heat until crisp. Using a slotted spoon, remove to paper towels to drain.

3. Drain most of the drippings from pan. Brown mushrooms in drippings; remove to paper towels. (Side note: I can't find jarred mushrooms in my town. I bought a little basket of raw mushrooms, washed and sliced them up, and sauteed them. I thought they worked just as well as the jarred mushrooms.)

4. Add cream, butter, parsley, garlic, pepper sauce and salt if desired to the skillet; cook and stir over medium heat until butter is melted.

5. Drain pasta; add to cream mixture. Stir in the bacon, mushrooms and cheese; heat through.
6. Remove from the heat.

7. Sprinkle with green onions.

Serve with a heaping bowl of plain green lettuce and carrots so you can say it's a balanced meal with a straight face. A few kisses sprinkled through out might not hurt either.

Who needs marriage counseling with a recipe like this?

Make sure to check back tomorrow for another how-to! Maybe how to make maternity jeans look sexy when you may or may not be pregnant and just need something that fits after eating too much Pasta Carbonara?

How to Stick it to Zero Patience Mommy

I am fully aware it's Tuesday evening. I checked my calender and there will be no confusion today. But I am going to fake like it's Monday morning and post the first of a week's worth of themed posts. This week at Hanging by a Silver Lining all the posts of the week will be How-Tos. Exciting, no?

Let me make one thing clear: I am under no impression that I know it all. I just thought it would be fun to share the few ideas I have with all of you. It might be difficult to fill in a week's worth, but I am feeling ambitious enough to give it my best shot.

Ready for the first one?

Remember how I mentioned that I was going to pull Fun Mommy out from the deep dark recesses of my closet and hope she had the gumption to outlast Zero Patience Mommy while the kids and I did a few Halloween activities? Well, Fun Mommy pulled through with style and very little yelling or growling. We had a grand old time painting, baking, decorating, and carving last Thursday. Cheers to Fun Mommy!

Here's the simple little craft we made:


I've been seeing these cute little popsicle pumpkins around town and figured "Hey! We could handle that. I even have a bag full of popsicle sticks. It's like it was meant to be!"

I'm sure it's pretty easy to figure out how to make these from seeing the finished product, but maybe I have a few craft-challenged readers who would like a tutorial. This one's for you guys!

I started by lining up several popsicle sticks together. Then I used my ever-trusty hot glue gun to glue two sticks on to hold the whole show together.



Flip the stick sheet over so the bottom is the side with the bracing "beams".

Dress kids in super cool garbage bag smocks to cut down on ruined clothes and let them show off their inner-Picasso's by painting the pumpkins with orange paint. My kids enjoyed this so much that they were literally singing my praises. Like that didn't make me feel pretty guilty for not tackling more paint projects in the past. Dually noted, Fun Mommy.


For the face...the examples I have seen of this project used cut out pieces of black foam. I already had a bunch of little wooden triangles from another project, so we just painted a few triangles black to make the eyes, mouth, and nose for our pumpkins. Use what ya' got!

After adequate drying time, I hot-glued the pieces on the pumpkin to make the faces. I also had some fake flower leaves that we glued on the back for the stem and leaves. We attached twine on the back too so the kids could hang their "ornaments".

This project really was so quick and easy that we were ready for more. So we did just that...more! Check out our cute little Frankenstein monsters!


P.S. I splattered black paint on my two popsicle stick creations and used mod-podge to seal the deal.


Stay tuned for tomorrow's post (that would be Tuesday in my little imaginary blog world) on How to Make Your Man Melt. Admit it...did your mind just skiff the gutter a bit? Naughty, naughty!