"Tis a gift to be simple..."

...'tis a gift to be free." (Shaker song lyrics)

(Image from Google Images)

Our internet service has been down and out for the past three days. At first I was rather put out by its absence.

How am I supposed to get my writing work done? How do I keep an ever-watchful eye on my dwindling bank account? How do I stay up-to-date on all my favorite blogs and videos and gossip and news?

What caught me very much by surprise was all the free time I suddenly had. And how simple and focused and productive I became.

I transformed my scary hole of an office into a crafting and food storage sanctuary.
I took my girls on a long trip to the library.
I stayed triumphantly on top of my housework.
I baked cookies.
I planned out a few projects.
I shut off my auto-pilot mommy and focused in visually and mentally on my children's faces instead of the computer screen.

I laid on my bed for an entire hour with nothing to do but stare out the window and think. I can't remember how long it has been since I have done that. It was absolutely refreshing.

What surprised me even more was how much more calm and at peace and satisfied I felt.

Sadly, the internet service started working again today.

As soon as I realized it was on again, a cold and clutching and claustrophobic sense of chaos and panic and much-too-much took grip.

As convenient and wonderful as the internet and technology can be...I think I would just like to shut down my laptop, hide it away in a deep dark closet, and pretend it doesn't exist for a little while longer.

Life is so much simpler and more satisfying without having the world at your fingertips every waking second.

Besides, it is snowing today. Big fluffy snowflakes of pure cold deliciousness. That is something my little family hasn't seen from the warmth of their own home in two long years of Arizona living.

I think today I am much too busy to go surfing or browsing or networking.

I have my hands full with gazing out my window at the winter wonderland that is falling into place while sipping on hot chocolate and talking AND listening to my children.

And that makes me very very happy.

simple

I haven't been sleeping well lately. Lately meaning: years. (Thanks again Dad for the inherited case of insomnia.) When I wake up my brain immediately clicks on, ready to tackle issues. Issues I try to ignore during the day.

Issues like how we watch way too much TV, the kids in one room and me in another. I think it may be time to cancel our satellite service.

Issues like how we aren't reading books in spite of the pile from the library that is collecting dust on the shelf.

Issues like what a crummy housekeeper I am.

Issues like how pathetic my personal prayers and scripture study have been. Too busy watching TV I suppose.

Issues like saving for retirement and losing weight and trying new recipes and working harder to build better relationships with family and friends and cleaning that junk heap of a room and the End of Days and natural child birth and getting more involved in politics and being nicer to the neighbor kids and working harder to be a better Primary teacher and this and that and then some more of those...

And then I get overwhelmed and fall back asleep in a hopeless mess.

I have been having a difficult time keeping up in the blogging world (have you noticed?), partly because of my crummy, unbearably slow, irritatingly unreliable, terrible, no-good internet service and partly because of my level of ambition. I keep wondering...when this baby comes, is the effort and energy and time spent on the baby going to completely replace my blogging? And is that how it should be?

'Tis time to simplify I think. Now to have the chops to do it...