Vlog Vednesday: Testimony

Joe's on vacation this week, so while he's home with the littles, I seized the opportunity to visit one of my favorite places on earth, the temple.

I really love being in the temple, for so many reasons, if not that the crowd there (notoriously, little old ladies and little old men) makes me feel like a spring chicken. And these days...I'll take any chance I get to feel young again.

While I was there, I realized it was Wednesday, Vlog Vednesday to be exact. A little heart-to-heart on the lawn of the temple? Why not?

 

(If you have any questions about some of the terminology I'm using or about the LDS faith, visit Mormon.org.)

Gratitude Photo Scavenger Hunt {Part Three}

21. Something I'm grateful for in the month of November.

My dad.
His birthday is in November. I'm grateful for the caring, goofy, crazy, talented, wonderful man he is.

22. Something I'm grateful for that makes my life easier.

Dora the Explorer.
Meet Dora. She is our second vehicle. She takes Joe to work so I can have the minivan at home. After being a one car family for a few years how I love her and appreciate her presence in our family. She makes my life so much more convenient.

23. Something I'm grateful for that makes my belly happy.

Leatherby's hot fudge ice cream sundaes.
I've never been the biggest ice cream fan...until...we found this little family owned gem. The food is terrible, but oh my stars! that hot fudge is truly something to be grateful for.

24. Something I'm grateful for that reminds me of friends.

Rag quilts.
My friend Lana taught me how to make these rag quilts while we lived in Arizona. Even if we don't live there anymore I am still grateful for my friendship with Lana and all the other amazing friends I have made in all our many moves. I have learned that no matter where you may wander in the world, there are good souls out there. And that is a truth that I am absolutely thankful for. 

25. Something I'm grateful for that is indicative of my city.

Temples.
I live in the Salt Lake valley where LDS temples are almost as "common" as Walmart stores. But there is nothing common about them. Because of temples families can be together forever. I love my family and I want to be a family for forever so you can see why I would have a deep gratitude for temples.

26. Something I'm grateful for that represents my country.

Parades.
I love a good parade. I love seeing people's patriotism on display. I am grateful to live in the United States of America. She may have her problems, but for the most part this great country is about freedom and a better way of life.

27. Something I'm grateful for in my Fall/Thanksgiving decor.

Candles.
This time of year has an abundance of good smells. I'm grateful for all the wonderful scents this time of year has to offer my nose.

28. Something I'm grateful for that gets me from here to there.

Prayer.

29. Something I'm grateful for that keeps me healthy and strong.

Vaccinations and medicine.
My children may not agree, but I am very thankful for medicines that keep us from getting sick or sicker.

30. The final photo challenge is to take a photo of how you intend to spread the Thankful Spirit.

Our Thankful Tree.
I ordered this vinyl tree from my friend Sami's vinyl business. It has been adhered to our front room wall. We started our little Thankful Tree for Family Home Evening on Monday by talking about the blessings we are grateful for. We will keep adding leaves to it throughout the week and on Thanksgiving day with our extended family when they come to visit.

Thank you again to Sarah at Sarah Dawn Designs for hosting this Thanksgiving project. We've had a lot of fun this month pondering and searching for our blessings.

Visit my friend ChemistryMama to see what she and her little ones found in their scavenger hunt.

Gratitude Photo Scavenger Hunt {Part Two}

11. Something I'm grateful for in black and white.

Talents. Particularly the talents of others.
My sister took this picture of me during my first pregnancy. She was using me as a model for practice for her photography class. I have always deeply admired her talents in photography and other creative paths. I have benefited from her talents in having beautiful photographs of my family. I have an appreciation of and gratitude for others talents whether they be photography, musical, homemaking, financial, performing arts, social, etc, etc, etc.

12. Something I'm grateful for in the workforce.

My husband Joe.
Because he works so hard in the workforce I am able to stay at home focusing on mothering our children. I am so grateful he has given me this opportunity. He has an incredible work ethic and I am so thankful for the example and provider he is for our children. And not only does he work hard outside our home, but then he comes home and uses his skills to help our family, such as replacing dead batteries in the minivan.

13. Something I'm grateful for with words on it.

The scriptures.
How grateful I am for the scriptures which bring wisdom and peace.

14. Something I'm grateful for that entertains me.

Blogging.
How can I not be grateful for the medium that not only entertains me but has also given me a creative outlet, a way to record some family history, an opportunity to share myself with others, and the chance to make friends from all over the world? I am grateful for blogging.

15. Something I'm grateful for that is unique to me.

My ancestors.
No one else has my set of ancestors...except of course, my siblings. Regardless, I am grateful for the good people who have made me the unique person who am I.

16. Something I'm grateful for in the retail industry.

Costco.
Where would I be without industrial amounts of toilet paper, bricks of cheese, and cratefuls of batteries? I'm grateful for a place I can go to stock up on things my growing family needs as well as buy a lunch for six people under $10.

 
17. Something I'm grateful for in my neighborhood.

Neighbors.
Shhh. Don't tell our landlord, but I'm pretty sure they should be charging us extra on our rent for the incredible people we get to live by. I'm grateful for such good souls who have cared and loved our family from the moment we arrived in that big orange and white moving van.

18. Something I'm grateful for that keeps me warm.

A garage.
I never knew how much I would appreciate a garage until I had one. I really enjoy being able to hop into my car in the mornings without having to clean the windshields off or warm up the engine. A simple, but wonderful luxury!

19. Something I'm grateful for that makes me laugh.

My children.
These four keep me in stitches every day. How grateful I am to get to live with four little comedians.

20. Something I'm grateful for in regards to the holidays.

My Savior.
How grateful I am for a Savior that loved me enough to come to earth and endure all He did just so that I (and all mankind) could return to live with Him and a loving Heavenly Father. I cannot let the holiday season go by without feeling gratitude for the ones who gave me everything I have and am.

Gratitude Photo Scavenger Hunt {Part One}

It just never fails. Each and every year the holidays come and go by so darn quickly. After they do, some random afternoon in early January, I find myself finally sitting down, letting out a big sigh of intermingled relief and regret, feeling stunned, and wondering how on earth I let another holiday season go by in such a flurry of chaos and chores. 

It doesn't seem to matter that each October I vow that "this will be the year!", the year I will wring every last ounce of meaning out of the holiday season. And predictably this October was no different. Once again, I found myself vowing "This--THIS! will be the year!".

Of course I mean it more this year than I've ever meant before. This year I'm going to do less shopping. Less stress. Less procedure and protocol. Less guilt. Less "To Do"s. More time. More quality. More actions. More service. More family. More love. This year I'm going to make the time to enjoy the holiday. This year I'm going to do my best to reveal the true meaning of the season to my children.

And it starts today!

Many thanks to Sarah at Sarah Dawn Designs for helping me to do that. The kids and I have had a lot of fun preparing to post and link up to her Gratitude Photo Scavenger Hunt. And while my 6 year, 5 year, 3 year, and 10 month olds weren't exactly catching on to the idea of finding specific things on the checklist that we are grateful for, this little scavenger hunt opened up the conversation in our family on gratitude and looking for the things in our life that we are thankful for.

I think we might be off to a pretty good start this year.

Over the next 3 days of posts here are pictures of 30 things that I'm grateful for...

1. Something I'm grateful for in color.

Family. We're a pretty colorful bunch.


2. Something I'm grateful for in nature.

Mountains. "What are men to rocks and mountains?" ~Jane Austen
There is something about mountains that connects to something deep inside of me. They stir me up. They set me soaring. They just make me downright happy. This year in particular I am grateful to live in a home where I can open my window blinds and see incredible mountain ranges in every direction. I imagine my window views have had a little something to do with what a good and happy year 2011 has been.

3. Something I'm grateful for in the city.

Cousins!
And they only live a half hour drive away! This is stretching the term "in the city", but after living so far from our family we're very grateful for a teensy tinsy half hour drive to spend time with our loved ones.

4. Something I'm grateful for at the park.

Green grass.
I never realized how much I took grass for granted until we lived in ugly brown Arizona where there was none. Well, there was some, but it was so prickly and ant infested that you couldn't sit on it without being assaulted. I'm grateful for a backyard and parks with lovely green grass that my children can run and play happily on. I'm grateful for summer evenings spent comfortably sitting on grass.

5. Something I'm grateful for that is soft.

Baby cheeks.
How grateful I am for the gift of motherhood. These precious moments spent nuzzling soft baby cheeks are ones I imagine I will remember long after those cheeks won't let me nuzzle them anymore.

6. Something I'm grateful for that is hard.

Running.
I'm getting a little abstract with this one, but I am grateful for running. It is hard, really hard especially as a mom of four little ones. But it has brought me a lot of joy. I've lost 60 pounds this year partly in thanks to running. I've found an escape and a release. I've discovered that I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for. Running has developed my muscles and my self esteem. It's hard, but I can do hard things...And be happier because of them!

7. Something I'm grateful for in my closet.

Guns.
I'm grateful to live in a country where I can legally bear arms. I am grateful that I have something I can protect my family with if the occasion should ever arise. And I'm grateful my husband has finally found a hobby for himself.

8. Something I'm grateful for with texture.

Gluten free food.
It's been an interesting year at our house when it comes to food. When I discovered in September that my three year old Elle has Celiac Disease I was terrified at the thought of not having anything to feed my daughter. While it may have a strange texture and be quite expensive, I am grateful for gluten free food that I can safely feed my daughter.

9. Something I'm grateful for in my kitchen.

My Bosch mixer.
My mom found this little beaut at a thrift store for a few dollars. These things normally cost hundreds of dollars, but last forever. I am so grateful she found it. I could never have afforded a brand new one. I use my mixer all the time. Fruit smoothies, breads, cookies, etc. I love my mixer!

10. Something I'm grateful for in the weather.

Snow.
Along with the green grass, I missed the snow terribly when we lived in Arizona. Snow is magical and fun and wonderful. I love it when it comes and I love it when it goes. I am grateful to live in a place with weather variety. It makes me happy!

There are still twenty more things to show you that I'm grateful for. Make sure to come back Tuesday and Wednesday to see more.

And again, thank you to Sarah for hosting such a brilliant blog Thanksgiving celebration! Make sure to visit her to see what other bloggers are grateful for too.

Of Grieving and Gratitude

I spoke with my Aunt Jane this morning.

She called me on the phone. She was laughing. She said she couldn't talk long, but wanted to know how I was doing. She also wanted to tell me that she was busy and happy.

And she giggled infectiously through out our entire conversation. That wonderful, irreverent giggle that simultaneously puts you at ease and convinces you of just how much she cares for you.

Then almost as soon as it had begun it was over. Still laughing, she said she had to go.

I tried to convince her to stay on the phone with me, but even as she told me she loved me and hung up I started to wake up.

I had been dreaming. I gazed at the room around me, blinking with the cold realization of it.

And then I began waking up again.

I had been dreaming that I had been dreaming that I talked to my Aunt Jane.

Yet, as I woke definitively, the sound of my Aunt Jane's laugh and love reverberated in my head. Before the memory of it could vanish as dreams so commonly do, I turned to my husband who was waking beside me.

No "Good morning, Honey". No "And how did you sleep?".

"I just talked to my Aunt Jane", I said.

He didn't miss a beat. "Oh yeah? How is she?"

"She's happy and busy and she loves me."

As the words left my mouth, the ache began to set in. I rolled on my back, staring at the ceiling. And then I started to cry. I grabbed my pillow, crammed it over my face creating a hasty sanctuary, and let the tears flow.

You see... My Aunt Jane passed away in February 2008. My beautiful, hilarious, talented, loving, red haired Auntie Jane has been "gone" for three and a half years.

Skin cancer. Malignant melanoma. Nasty stuff.

Long after my tears had stopped and dried, I laid in bed. Wondering. Pondering.

One could conjecture that I dreamed of Jane simply because the night before I had been shuffling things around in my storage room and had found the large wooden box I have that bears her name. My thoughts had most certainly lingered on her more than usual the night before as I hefted the box from storage, carried it upstairs, and placed it in my family room.

She had been in my conscious. In my subconscious. Is that why I dreamed that I dreamed that I spoke with her?

One could also speculate that those gone from this earth are not truly gone, that they speak to us in dreams. That they are very near and watching over us. That it was not a trick of the mind, but a true and sincere conversation with a beloved aunt who still lives just not in the same world as I. That she is indeed happy, busy, and that she loves me.

I am not exactly certain what happened in my dreams this morning.

But I am most certain of a few things.

She does live. And I will see her again. We will be reunited and when we are it will be as family. She will know me as her niece and I will love her as my Auntie Jane. Death cannot break the bonds we had on this earth.

Today, I am most grateful for that knowledge. Families are forever. Death is but a temporary separation. A painful and heartbreaking one, yes. But in the end, nothing but a fleeting moment. I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and for the power of the Atonement that will make that sweet reunion possible.

Today, I can't help but be sorrowful as we enter another holiday season without Jane, but filled with hope and happiness that we will meet again.

And not just in dreams.

The One Where She Loses a Few Followers

I read something this morning that I wanted to share with you, my friends in the blog world. Whether I have met you in person or not, I consider you my friends.

So here it is.

"Wherefore the things which are pleasing unto the world I do not write, but the things which are pleasing unto God and unto those who are not of the world." ***

I can see you clicking the exit button now. Maybe rolling your eyes and thinking, "Oh great! Here she goes getting all churchy on us"?

Possibly.

But I want to tell you something about myself. Something that I haven't exactly kept hidden but that I haven't been very forward about either here on Hanging by A Silver Lining.

I am a Mormon.

Gasp!

There I said it.

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and this means many things to me.

First and foremost, being a Mormon means that I believe in Christ.

I believe that the Savior died, being crucified on the cross, but rose again to live. Before all that He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for the sins of mankind. And you can trust that there was a big old rotten portion of my sins in there. I believe because He did all this that I can be forgiven for all the many things I seem bound and determined to do wrong while I live here on earth. Dang that natural man thing I got going on.

Knowing how easily I screw up makes me forever grateful that someone, an eternal and perfect being no less, would do that for me. Forever grateful, humbled, and in debt.

Because I am a Mormon I choose not to drink alcohol, take drugs, consume tobacco in any form, drink coffee or tea, and as of late I am taking it an extra step and trying to be committed to not drinking Coke and Dr. Pepper either. {whimper}

Because I am a Mormon I made the decision to not have any premarital sex, even with my husband when we were engaged and "practically married". I continue to avoid sexual relations with anyone other than my husband, who I plan to be married to for many years. Like eternity.

Being a Mormon I believe that dancing, singing, listening to loud music, playing rowdy games, watching football, bowling, camping, blogging, swimming, drinking root beer floats, watching Shaytards videos on YouTube, reading novels, eating turkey at Thanksgiving and ham at Christmas are wholesome, fun activities. Ones I often enjoy.

Being a Mormon, I believe the family is eternal IF and only IF we work in this life to live in such a way that we will be worthy to live together in the life hereafter. I believe this, but I confess, this terrifies me. I feel not only a dire responsibility for myself, but for my husband and each of my four children.

Being a Mormon, I knew I wanted to have several children that would not be separated from me even by death. Having LOTS of children is not a commandment, but something I chose to do. Just because I chose to have lots of kids doesn't instantly make me the perfect mom. It's something I have to work at not just daily, but minutely sometimes. Being a Mormon helps me to do that thanks to prayer, repentance, religious instruction and guidance, and support of church community.

Being a Mormon, I believe in the truthfulness and power of a certain book: The Book of Mormon. Although I struggle to find the time and dedication to read and study it daily, I know I should. And I know that when I do, my day just seems to go better; I am happier, I am more patient, kind, and sensitive to spiritual promptings. All good things that help me to be a better mom, wife, friend, and person.

I am a Mormon because I CHOOSE to be a Mormon. I am not a sheep. No one makes me believe in all this. I have had my moments when I have considered scrapping it all and doing whatever the he!! I want. But deep down inside, I KNOW that I have a testimony of this religion. I feel, believe, KNOW it is truth and light and happiness. And that it is right for me.

Being a Mormon doesn't make me perfect. It doesn't put me above anyone else. It doesn't mean I am "saved". It doesn't mean I am not going to screw everything up most days. It doesn't mean I won't say or do or write dumb things. It doesn't save me from cancer or debt or taxes. It doesn't mean I only listen to church music (I actually detest most church music) or don't go to the theater to see the latest movie or avoid chocolate (because I certainly don't).

But being a Mormon does mean something to me. And I wanted you to know that.

***1 Nephi 6:5 (a scripture from The Book of Mormon)