Define: "Sexy"

The other day my son asked me what "sexy" means.

After retrieving my jaw from my lap, I sputtered out some jargon about how it means "beautiful" but not in a very nice way and that it really isn't something we should be saying. By the time I reached the end of my muddled definition, his attention had already wandered and he was crawling around on the floor in search of the perfect Lego piece to add to his ship.

I don't know if he even gave it any further thought, but I sure did.

Hmm...What does sexy mean?

I mean there's the obvious definition that the world gives us in every song, picture, movie, TV commercial, magazine, billboard, etc.

Big boobs. Big booties. Big hair.
Big big big and tiny tiny tiny.
Tiny waists. Tiny eyebrows. Tiny clothes. Tiny appetites.
Rippling pecs. Ripping bodices.
Fast. Fast cars. Fast relationships. Fast money.
Bright colors and shades of grey.
And everything in between.

Sexy.

According to the dictionary...

sex·y/ˈsɛksi/

1. concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risqué: a sexy novel.
2. sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality: the sexiest professor on campus.
3. excitingly appealing; glamorous: a sexy new car.

Sexy.

Really??

None of the above is how I would define "sexy" because this is what I found to be "sexy" last week....

I went searching for my missing husband to find him in the cold garage, in his coveralls, covered in grease and oil, devoting his Saturday, his one free day, to fixing our one working vehicle.

Using his hands, time, knowledge, and skills to save us money and keep our old minivan going a few more miles.

Now that's sexy.

Eat your heart out, Channing Tatum.

We Owe a DEBT of Gratitude to Dave Ramsey

***Note: This is a rather sensitive post. It's embarrassing to admit a problem, but my hope is that instead of opening up my family to judgement that this might help someone else who has shared the same struggles we have.

My husband and I have been married for almost ten years and have struggled with debt for probably 9.5 of 10 of those years.

I'm just going to put it plainly.

WE ARE STUPID.

Not stupid people. Just stupid about money.

I can tell you from personal experience that debt places a heavy, stifling burden on a marriage. It's just ugly and so so unnecessary with all the other junk a marriage has to endure to survive.

Without going into too great of detail, my husband and I have finally decided that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and we are putting an end to the viciousness that is "debt". 2013 is our year! And I'm happy to report that for the first time in ten years, good things, at least concerning debt, are happening.

We are working TOGETHER. In the past, we have both tried to dig our way out, only we each tried to do it our own ways. The result was two people standing in a hole, sweating furiously, and just throwing a lot of dirt on top of each other. All that ensued was anger, frustration, despair, and even more debt.

This time we are doing it Dave Ramsey's way. We have been reading his book, "Total Money Makeover", at night before we go to bed. Not only are we learning how to handle our money, but we have a chance to spend time together and communicate. Sans four little ones. I am loving this for so many reasons.

We are following Dave's "Baby Steps". We have promised each other that we will not borrow money EVER AGAIN. We even shook on it. We saved up a $1000 emergency fund so we have something to use in case of an emergency instead of going further into debt. (You can't get out of a hole by digging more.) And now we are pushing our "Debt Snowball" down the hill. We are paying off our debts from smallest to largest, building steam with each paid debt.

And guess what?! IT'S WORKING!!! I find myself checking our bank account multiple times a day now, not because I'm scared that there's not going to be enough money there to cover all the bills, but because the bills are covered and then there's still money leftover to pay debt!

We budget now! GASP! And I actually like it!! DOUBLE GASP!! We go over our budget a couple of times a month and I print it out and hang it on our bathroom mirror so that we can look at it every day. I'm a rather visual person. I am most successful with weight loss when I make a plan and hang it somewhere I can see it constantly. This has proven just as successful with budgeting and debt. In fact, I find myself standing in our bathroom often, just staring at the budget sheets. I'm kind of obsessed. It's true that I do have an obsessive personality. For the past couple of years I have obsessed over weight loss. Now I've set my sights on debt. This isn't a bad thing if it's working.

I'm not ready to divulge just how much debt we have to pay off. Maybe I will when it's all paid off and we are ready to declare just as so many other Dave Ramsey fans have, "WE'RE DEBT FREE!". It doesn't really matter what size the debt is, it makes us slaves. Unhappy, frustrated, paranoid slaves. And we are ready to break the bonds that bind us.

That being said, please understand if we aren't as generous this year. If we don't send gifts or Christmas cards or meet up for dinner or go on trips, it's not because we don't love and cherish you. We're just trying to work with "gazelle speed" to "live like no one else NOW so we can live like no one else later". Sometimes it's embarrassing and rather painful, but our hope is someday it will all be worth it and then we can be more generous than we ever dreamed.

Jar Love #4: Money, Money, Money!

Later on this week, I'm going to work up the guts to share a post about money...or more specifically, debt. Until then I wanted to share this very cool idea that was floating around on Facebook at the beginning of the new year.

Undoubtedly we all have similar resolutions on New Years Day. "Save money" is always on my list, whether I'm willing to write it down or not; whether I'm willing to stick to it or not. When I saw this clever little method for saving money, I was convinced that "save money" was one resolution I could keep this year.

And it didn't hurt that a jar was involved. We all know how much I love my jars.

Here's the idea...

Print off a copy of this 52 Week Money Challenge page...

And glue or tape it to a jar.

Now, add money.

Make sure to put your jar in a highly visible place so you remember to add to it weekly. If you follow the paper exactly, you will add $1 on Week 1, $2 on Week 2, etc, etc, etc.

Or you could do the opposite. Work backwards. Add $52 on Week 1, $51 on Week 2, etc, etc, etc.

OR you could even add as you are able. Week 1, I can spare $1 for my jar, but Week 2, I can afford more and add $30 to my jar. Brilliant, no?

By Christmas time you should have a spare $1,378.00 sitting in a jar! What would you do with $1,378.00???

I Can See Clearly Now, the Money's Gone

Last week I found myself being pressured by a salesman. And I totally caved into his sales pitch.

I am now the proud (and rather befuddled) owner of not one, but TWO brand new pairs of...

EYE GLASSES?!

Glasses! Of all things to be pressured to buy.

I'm shaking my head as I write this.

How did one little weaselly salesman pressure me into buying two pairs of glasses that were not cheap by any definition?

The guy wasn't attractive. At all.

He didn't even have that presence that some salesmen have.

He was just pushy and really good at taking me on an all-expenses paid (me being the one who's paying all the expenses) guilt trip.

"Your son is practically blind! You don't want him to be blind for an entire week while we fix his old glasses do you? Do you?!"

Okay. That's not exactly how he said it, but that's how it came through my Be-a-Good-Mommy filter.

I don't know if eyeglass salesmen make a commission, but he also gave me some sob story about his mom having a really expensive surgery earlier that year and that he was now broke.

I think he was trying to connect with me.

Because obviously a mom of four kids is definitely broke.

At least that's what he assumed (and he would be just about right, but regardless!)

And since I am a mom of four kids and probably broke that's also why he decided to try to sell me every bell and whistle that can come with a pair of eye glasses.

Super sonic hydroponic superfluous lens coating does what exactly???

Even as I found myself agreeing to the purchase, I looked at him thinking to myself, "I don't really like you and how on earth did I let you convince me to do this?"

But the whole transaction took place so quickly that I didn't even really have time to say, "HOLD UP!!"

I'm not even sure I got the frames I wanted for myself or my son.

See, the eye doctor was incredibly nice. So nice I wanted to pick him up, take him home, and adopt him.

But I believe he may be in on the scheme.

During my eye exam he put those nasty little drops in my eyes to dilate them and by the time I found myself picking out frames I could hardly see my hand in front of my face. I couldn't even see the price tags on the frames.

Brilliant sales tactic, no? Blind 'em, then take 'em for all they're worth!

I was kind of lucky to make it out of there with my wallet still in my bag and all four children accounted for.

I think I may have needed an interpreter or mediator or lawyer just to purchase my glasses.

Or at least a nanny because I'm fairly certain my four kids were in on the heist too.

How was I supposed to make a clear-headed decision whilst repeatedly telling three of my kids to stop running around the office and to pick up the toys they had scattered all over, bouncing a fussy infant on my hip, and stopping the receptionists from feeding tootsie rolls to my milk allergy kid?

All while squinting through Bambi-sized pupils.

Car salesmen could learn a thing or two from the vision office.