Debbie Downer Meets "Happiness Is..."

It's been a rough week.

I'm not really sure what sparked it.

Unless...it was this really glorious moment on Monday night when during our family scripture study, one of my prayers was answered, the Spirit filled our home, we grew closer as a family, and love abounded from every corner.

And then the Adversary decided to move in and set up camp and declared,

"There will be no happiness here."

Because he likes to do that when he's losing.

He's pretty smart because the last couple of days, he's winning. He knows exactly what pressure points to squeeze to defeat us. In our family, it's sleep, or the lack of. It's Mommy. It's food. It's irritability and over-sensitivity. It's making mountains out of molehills.

I keep trying to dig my way out of it with all the usual tactics.

Praying.

Working.

Exercise.

Service.

Giving up and just giving in to the bad mood for a day.

But prayers get constantly interrupted by little voices with big needs.

But the work is never ending and undone as soon as I turn around.
But there just hasn't been time for exercise. Or energy. Or desire. Or something.
But I feel so empty that I feel like I have nothing to give someone else.
But a day wriggles into two. Then stretches into three. And before you know it you haven't showered in a few days, and eaten a bag of Cadbury eggs and watched the entire third season of Modern Family while your kids get way too comfortable with Netflix on the iPad.

It's a downward spiral. A sharp and severe free fall. And it's over.

ENOUGH OF THIS.

Time for a "Happiness is..." post.

Happiness is...

...a secret bag of Cadbury eggs.

...seeing more and more brown grass every day as the snow disappears.

...having hope that brown will magically brighten into green.

...little baby Chiclet teeth.

...your son earning his first Scout award.

...little sisters cuddling.



...a warm shower dance and song.

...figuring out that extra chores is the answer to motivating the kids to do all kinds of things.

...finally, after literally years of talking about it, learning how to make charts on the computer.

...running 14 miles.

...popcorn and Icees with my favorite blond.

...children dragging the scriptures over to you each night instead of you having to drag the children to the scriptures.

..."no root canal necessary".

...sticking to your budget.

...watching your 4 year old change right before your eyes.

...getting your library books turned in before the due date.

...duct tape on diapers preserving your sanity.

There is a lot to be happy about. Time to shut up, get up, straighten up, and look up and onward.

A Dark Shade of Grey

For the most part I am a positive person.

At least I try to be.

At least I hope I am.

(A-ha! "Hope"! See? Positive!)

But today I'm having a very hard time finding the positive in anything. Wait. No. That's not true. I can see the positive. I just don't want to have much to do with it. In fact, I'd kind of like to gag it, shove it in a closet, and pretend it doesn't exist.

I blog about the great days. Why not the rough ones too?

My husband is out of town again.
I slept on my back funny and can hardly move without being in lots of pain.
When I weighed myself in this morning, I discovered the See's chocolate had found it's final resting place.
Cee has decided she's ready to potty train.
After cleaning up multiple pee accidents, I've decided I'm not.
For some asinine reason we decided it was time to take down the crib. This means Cee isn't sleeping which means no one else is either.
I'm trying to rededicate myself to eating healthy and avoiding sugar. My mood and behavior could be likened to a smoker who's trying to quit. Not pretty.
The house is trashed and despite my efforts to clean and get the kids to clean, it doesn't appear to be getting any better.
Everything is getting on my nerves, which seem to be a little closer to the surface than normal.

And it goes on and on and on.

And what makes it worse is that today is President's Day which means my kiddos are off of school. It's not worse because they're home. I actually really love having my children home. What's worse is that I can't seem to rally myself enough to be a good, fun mom on their day off of school. And that just makes my dark shade of grey mood even blacker.

We could have gone for a drive or out for a treat or played at McDonald's or played with cousins or baked cookies or gone swimming or watched movies together or pulled out board games or danced in the living room or had a cleaning party or walked around the neighborhood or had friends over or gone to the movies or to the Dollar Store or on a scavenger hunt or...or...or...

But for every fun thing, I had an excuse.

I don't want to spend any money. I'm trying to eat healthy: no treats for anybody since I can't avoid the temptation. No swimming; it's that time of the month. My back hurts. My head hurts. My patience is worn thin. The house is a mess. The kids aren't dressed. Cousins are sick. It's too cold. It's too wet. It takes too much energy.

Ugh. Today was a failure. A missed opportunity. And it's all my fault. Blah.

I keep considering putting a positive spin on this blog post (there's always something that can be gleaned even from rotten days such as these) but I'm just going to let it lie. You can't know the good, if you don't know the bad. Here's to better days in the future...as they will inevitably come.

(Dang that positivity sneaking in there!)

Monday Melancholy

*grumblegroanwhinemoangrouchgrumble*

Ohhhh, it's been a frustrating day.

And I'm not exactly sure why. It's only Monday and I got all the laundry washed, folded, and put away. I did the dishes. Twice. I vacuumed. Three times. I kept the house tidy and neat all day long. We got homework done. I paid bills. I answered phone calls. I organized paper work. I said my prayers. I read scriptures.

I even squeezed in my P90X workout, which I didn't think was going to happen with all the housework and laundry.

A killer day for a mom of four, right?

But for some reason there was very little joy in all of it. Accomplished though it was, I still felt like I was scraping by all day long, just trying to complete something. Anything.

I'm burnt out on P90X and eating healthy.
I'm wondering if there's anything to my life beyond vacuuming floors.
I'm pessimistic about the clean laundry staying in the drawers.
I'm tired of meat and potatoes and veggies, meat and potatoes and veggies, repeat, rinse and repeat, for dinner.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Oh me and my monotonous wonderful little life. What a pity I'm so blessed with so many amazing things, eh?

Good thing I saw this today...



If this guy can do it, with a smile on his face, I can do it without grumbling and complaining.

Happy Monday! Here's to a more joyful Tuesday!

Lament of a Food Allergy Mom

For the past several hours I have been doing something that's against my personal code of conduct.

Web-surfing.

(Gag.)

I guess that's kind of strange for a blogger to be anti-web-surfing, but it is what it is. I hate it. It feels like the biggest waste of time. I go looking for a simple answer on some query and two hours later...I've wandered over to Facebook a dozen times, stumbled on something that requires brain bleach, learned how to make a pinata, read about some random strangers's vacation to South Dakota, and scanned through hundreds of inaccurate, outdated, or inapplicable bits of information.

And don't even get me started on Pinterest. (What's the big deal anyway???)

Anyway...I was headed somewhere with this...

Oh, that's right. Food allergies. Or more specifically feeding children with food allergies. For the past several hours I've been web surfing looking for recipes that are gluten free and/or dairy free. Because it's a necessary evil. Because I don't know where else to turn for information on how to do that. Because I don't have the financial means to hire a live in cook.

The live in cook is me.
And I don't get paid near enough.

*sigh*

As if it wasn't hard enough to feed a "normal" family.

You know how it goes. Every bloody night that same question of despair, destruction, and doom:

WHAT'S FOR DINNER??? dinner...dinner...dinner...dinner...


Now imagine that one of your children is allergic to dairy--and we're not talking lactose intolerant here, folks. Think more like hives, swelling of body parts, closing off of airways, stabbing of epi-pen, racing to emergency room kind of allergic whenever he touches milk, cheese, butter, cheese powder, yogurt, sour cream, cream soups, etc, etc, etc.

Now, let's make things even more interesting, shall we? Add a second child that has Celiac Disease. This means she cannot eat anything with gluten, wheat, barley, rye, and even oats. No hives or closed airways here. Nope. It's "simply" an auto-immune disorder so just the body attacking itself whenever the smallest crumb of gluten is ingested resutlting in stomach aches, chronic diarrhea, failure to thrive, oh and an increased risk of diabetes, osteoporosis, and intestinal cancer. No big deal.

Go ahead. Go on. Make dinner.

Drawing a blank??

Yeah. Me too. Every single wretched night.

One of my 2012 New Year's resolutions is to have dinner on the table every night. Healthy, dairy free, gluten free, fast food free, hopefully not taste free dinner. It feels so monumental; it's worthy of a New Year's resolution spot.

It's like this huge elephant crushing me to death in my own kitchen. You know what that saying is about what to do with an elephant? Something about eating it one bite at a time. And hey! As long as the elephant is gluten- and dairy-free I'd be more than happy to serve it at dinner. But after two hours of web surfing for recipes I failed to pull up one single recipe that highlighted elephant as the main ingredient.

But at least I read the synopsis on "American Beauty".  And played a mean game of Word Warp. And of course updated my Facebook status. Twice.

Ugh.

P.S. I've had several people ask how I knew that my children had food allergies/sensitivities/issues. I'm dishing up on that tomorrow. Pun intended.

There's a Silver Lining Here Somewhere...I Think.

When I woke up this morning I did so with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I was happy. Truly happy. I got busy with the hustle and bustle of the morning routine, but added "Put 'I love my little life!' on Facebook status" to my mental TO DO list.

Before I could get to it, I checked my email.

I should have gone to Facebook first.

My email contained some truly rotten news that rocked my world today. While I can't discuss it publicly, it's hard to leave the hurt alone. In true Evelyn-fashion I cried. A lot. As I cried I tried to figure out how to approach this new trial in our lives. Do I lay down and die? Do I run for the nearest chocolate store? Do I get angry? Do I burn a few bridges? Do I give up?

Yes...

No...

Maybe a little...

I can't quite decide. It's been a roller coaster day. A humbling day. I keep flitting between "MY LIFE IS OVER!" to "Maybe this could be a good thing" and back again. I can't quite decide how to feel about it.

A few things are certain though.

Life is going to be a little rocky for our family over the next several months.

And life will go on.

Back in April 2003 I recall a memory where I felt the same. I had just broken up with Joe (for the dozenth time and what I thought was "for good"). I had recently dropped out of college as I had been doing terribly in my classes. I had resigned myself to taking a break and working for a bit to save money. The next day I was fired from my job, a job I had had for a year and a half and one that I actually kind of enjoyed.

I thought my life was over. No job. No school. No boyfriend. No future.

Anyone care for a second serving of Humble Pie?

A week later (the future) I had a new dream job at the local Emergency Department and I was engaged to Joe. The opportunity to go back to school came later. Despite what I had thought a week before life did indeed go on and even get better. Better than what it had been only a mere week before.

You know that whole saying about "God closing doors and opening windows"? I'm hoping that still holds true like it did in April 2003. 

So yes, I'm crying a lot today, but I'm also holding on to a shred of hope. My blog name is "Hanging by a Silver Lining" after all.

Broken

phone (prayer, good luck charms, and a wish on a star is needed to keep it turned on)

computer (1 two year old + 1 full glass of water + 1 working laptop = 1 not-so-working laptop)

car (not really so much "broken" as "needs to be returned to missionary brother who is now home wanting his ride back")

right ear (has been ringing since I woke up this morning)

baby (breathing funny, double ear infections, and possible milk allergy)

diet (emotional eater much?)

recliner chair (but still comfy!)

budget (didn't plan for all of this)

plans (so much for that trip)

bank account (ouch.)

spirit (Anyone got a bandaid?)


Time to get busy fixing things!

All Mixed Up and No Where to Go

The OCD in me just can't let this one slide.

We were out of town last weekend to see my newly returned missionary brother (yay!!). I had tried to schedule a few posts since I'm claiming to be back into my blogging groove and all, but my computer and Google are not on friendly terms these days. Therefore scheduled posts did not post.

I think I finally have all my ducks in a row. Or is that posts in their places?

However it is, I can't stand to not have them time stamped in their proper little places. *twitch, twitch*

So if you are feeling particularly playful and want to play hide and go seek with my blog today...

April 15th - Joe popped the big question.

April 17th- I got all high and mighty about my twenties.

April 18th- Happy birthday to me! To celebrate I made all sorts of crazy plans for the next decade.

And today...

Well, today I am trying to clean up...the house since we will have some company tonight and my mentality since it seems to be all sorts of murky and cluttered lately.

To be honest, I'm not doing so well at either so far.

We all have those days weeks, right? This isn't just a normal part of being thirty is it?

Help a girl out would ya'? What do YOU do to shake off a funk?

It Happens in Threes, Right??? Or is that Three HUNDRED?

Since I last posted, a few things have happened...

My four year old Jeigh also contracted pink eye, bringing the pink eye totality up to 3 pairs of little goopy, red, leaky eyes.

I have been giving her eye drops left over from the other two kids, but as her eyes have suddenly gotten worse on the third day of drops, I am beginning to wonder if she is allergic to sulfa meds.

My body which has been steadily fighting off viral junk since Christmas gave up and gave in to the funk yesterday morning.

I was tested for H1N1 today and failed...in a good way! Whew! What I have is just some rotten virus that needs time to work itself out.

I cough. Therefore I pee. Ugh.

I developed laryngitis along with the nasty viral crud. No voice? No problem. Maybe I'll give labor and delivery the ol' Scientologist try, eh? Eat your heart out, Tom Cruise.

I caught my dear sweet husband swiping some of my Tylonel and cough drops tonight. He won't admit he's feeling under the weather, but I think I can count on one hand how many times I have seen him take pills. I sure love my tough guy.

Joe's dad goes in for surgery tomorrow morning. If the surgery takes a long time, it is a good thing meaning they are finding the problem and fixing it. If it's short, it means they are giving up for now and letting time take its toll for a bit before trying again.

Last night, I couldn't take it anymore. My emotional and physical reserves ran out and I broke down.

Why???

I'm afraid I can't help but ask... Why is all of this happening all at the same time at this time in our life?

It is just unreal how each day brings new chaos and craziness. I'm getting a little embarrassed to even tell people how things are going as of late. It's just too unbelievable. Maybe that's why I have lost my voice. Time to suffer in silence.

I still believe we will get through all this and be the stronger for it. But good heavens! When is enough "enough"?

P.S. And who gave that sidebar permission to congratulate me? Guess Baby #4 didn't get the memo that today was her due date. I imagine she's trying to hide out as long as possible. I don't blame her; who would want to be born in the midst of all this? I am beginning to think that sitting in a hospital in labor and delivery will be a welcome respite from life as it currently is.

P.P.S. Again, I'm not searching for sympathy. I just need to get all this recorded because it is so unbelievable that I don't know if I will believe it myself in a few weeks when {HOPEFULLY} things have leveled out again.

The Girl Who Cried "PIG!" Learns to Shut Her Fat Mouth

Warning: This post is most likely contagious. If you intend to read on first grab a mask, a bottle of hand sanitizer, and a handful of Vitamin C. Oh, and have you had your flu shot?

I didn't. And neither did my kiddos. For three reasons.

Reason #1: Sometimes I think flu shots are just the result of dirty rotten propaganda spread by money-grubbing pharmaceutical companies.

Reason #2: I think as a society we have become a little overly occupied about germs. I can't help but laugh at the moms who trail behind their kids at the park spraying them down with hand sanitizer any time they plop off a slide or swing. Ridiculous.

Reason #3: Apparently Northern Nevada is so remote they kind of forgot to send any flu vaccinations this way. In spite of Reason #1 and #2, being the good mom I am I asked our doctor about getting my pregnant self, my asthmatic son, and two girls vaccinated only to be told "Sorry. We don't have any".

No big deal. We'll live.

Then January came. Now I'm wondering.

Earlier this week I found myself asking audibly to no one in particular "What else can go wrong?!" I've learned my lesson. I'm not asking anymore because I keep getting answered.

Shutting. Mouth. Now.

It all began last week with Dee having the nastiest case of pink eye I have ever seen.

Hold up! It started earlier than that...

Ten months ago my husband and I...put an order in with the stork and were blessed with a "response".

At the same time the "response" was making its presence known on a little home pregnancy test, we found ourselves separated by over 700 miles. Joe was in Nevada beginning a new job and finding us a home in our new town and me in Arizona packing up our entire household whilst trying to keep three--make that four now--children alive. The move was hard and long and stressful, but completed semi-successfully.

Fast forward seven months and we discover we are moving again. Sure the timing is insane with a baby due anytime, but we're tough! We can do this! Bring it.

And oh my. Has it ever been BBBBB-ROUGHT!

Dee had nasty yucky pink eye last week.

Our medical insurance ended up not covering nearly as much as we thought it would for this baby. Bummer.

Then we found out Joe's dad was going in for a simple in-and-out gallbladder removal. What was supposed to be "simple" and "in-and-out" has turned into a daily saga of surgery and suspense. His dad ended up being cut open to have the offending gallbladder removed, only to have someone stick a staple in a wrong place, damaging something important and causing liver issues. After several other procedures and a surgery or two (to be honest, I'm beginning to lose track) he was ambulated to a different hospital in Utah where hopefully no one else can screw anything up and they can piece Joe's dad back together again. Hearing the words "possible liver transplant" makes one slightly nervous.

Our one and only personal computer suffered a toddler takedown. The withdrawal shakes are just beginning to die down. I have missed my bloggy buddies! And did you realize how often we use the internet to look up the littlest things? And in the middle of a move when I am trying to find a house, the new school system, church, utility options, etc. Wow.

Really, it has been a mixed blessing that the computer has been out of commission. My hands have been completely full with sick kiddos. Four nights ago I put Elle to bed as a perfectly happy and healthy two year old. Within four hours she crept into our bed feverish and coughing that nasty croupy cough. Croup? Again?! Ugh. Okay. The baby may be due in a week and we are moving a week after that, but I can handle croup. It's just a wait-it-out kind of thing. Right?

As the days stretched on and her fever and cough worsened, my mommy instincts prickled. To the doctor's office we went where we found out Elle has the H1N1 virus. Yep. Make that swine flu. Awesome.

Not even the doctor would touch her. Fortunately he at least stayed in the room long enough to write out a prescription for her and the other two kids in hopes of preventing further spreading of swiny sickness. Then he high-tailed it out of there as quick as possible. Real comforting Doc.

He even had the gall to tell me to avoid contact with Elle so as to keep myself healthy. He tells me this as my poor little zombie daughter is laying curled around my belly and shoulders. Stay away from my sick baby??? Obviously he has never been a mom.

We like to share in our family. Especially germs. Four year old Jeigh was next. Fortunately she isn't quite as bad as Elle. And Elle is bad. I feel like I may literally explode every now and then from the sheer fear and exhaustion that comes from holding a feverish, gasping toddler through four subsequent sleepless nights.

Dee's sixth birthday was yesterday and I'm afraid the sleeplessness and stress has left Mommy in less than a celebratory mood. His little birthday, which he has been so excited for this year more than any other year, has taken a back seat to sick sisters. I know he will get over it, but it makes me sad to not be free to make his special day a big deal.

In the midst of all this, there is a sweet little baby taking refuge in my belly threatening to come any day. Two weeks ago, as her due date crept closer and closer, I was mildly irritated that she wasn't making her glorious appearance in a timely manner giving me time to recover for our move. Now I feel relief for each day that passes with her still safely tucked inside. She can stay in there as long as she wants!

Well...that's not totally true. If she doesn't come on her own by Wednesday the 19th, I am scheduled for a "two-day induction" (doesn't that sound positively gruesome?). The induction is a heartbreaking event in and of itself for me, but that's a different post for a different day.

As sickness and stress has swirled around us, I have begun to laugh, hysterically sometimes. I mean REALLY! What ELSE can go wrong?!?

When I looked into Elle's goopy, red, teary eyes last night and realized she had pink eye on top of H1N1...

I'm not asking anymore. I'm not even giving the fates a chance to grasp onto anything.

Anyone actually still reading my novel here? You mean you haven't exited as hastily as possible in hopes of saving yourselves?

I know this is a long drawn out post of woe. It probably appears that I am whining. Maybe I am a little, but the reason I write this post (on Joe's work computer no less) is first of all for posterity's sake. You can't make this stuff up.

Also, I KNOW that we will make it through this very troubled time. And then we will look back on this and laugh and laugh and laugh, maybe with less hysteria and more relief.

I hope we realize that because we were able to make it through this, we can do other hard things that will most definitely come in our lives. And I hope that we can be grateful for the good things that have happened in this time.

Things like the baby NOT coming in the midst of the disease and distress.

Things like my family showing love, faith, and support with prayers, fasting, and phone calls.

Things like friends lending sympathetic ears and shoulders.

Things like meals from church members.

Things like Dee, who tends to be the sickest out of the kids, staying healthy thus far {fingers crossed}.

Things like being able to laugh, even if it is hysterically, instead of cry at everything.

Things like sweet little toddlers who cuddle even more and are extra sweet when they are sick.

Things like helpful little four year olds who think it's fun to play nurse and help Mommy.

Yep. Life is good. Or at least it will be in February.

P.S. I am taking the comments option off of this post. I didn't write this hoping you all would gush over my sorrows and tell me how bad you feel for me. It has been good for me to just get it out and in words. Somehow it makes it slightly more manageable. But if you really want to send bottles of hand sanitizer or better yet chocolate...my address is... ;)

Just Give Me a Moment

I can relate.

In a Foul (or is that Fowl?) Mood

I usually don't have anything against Mondays, but this one isn't playing very nicely.

*We woke up an hour late this morning. (Tell me why on earth this doesn't happen on a weekend?!)

*On my way out to start the van this morning, I experienced one of those movie moments where the character is walking along one second and then all you see is their feet where their head used to be. I totally went down in icy, leg-splitting glory. It was...wet. And more stretching than I've done in months.

*On top of Dee being "only" an hour late for school, I totally spaced that he was in charge of bringing snacks today. Mother of the Year? Not hardly.

*Jeigh is obsessively washing her hands, to the point of chapping. Then she cries when her hands are red and raw and rashed. Then she cries when I put lotion on her. Then she wants to wash her hands again. Then she cries. This is ridiculous.

*I QUIT. Potty training that is. I gave the 3 Day Potty Training Method my best shot, even generously giving it two extra days. Apparently, it is NOT the miracle method it claims to be. I had a moment of clarity when I was spraying down my stinky toddler and her stinky underwear in the bathtub for the fifth time that fifth day with tears flowing freely down both of our faces: This is not worth it. This is not working. This is the time I need to swallow my pride and call it quits.

3 Day Potty Training...I stick my tongue out at you. I'll give it another shot in another month or two...or six. Just as long as she is potty trained by her first date...

*My four year old daughter's feet smell worse than any pack of teenage boys. Ugh!! My nostrils and gag reflex are preparing to stage a protest.

*We found out today that Joe indeed has to work Thanksgiving weekend. This seriously fries my turkey. They had originally scheduled him to be off all weekend and we were all sorts of excited to travel out of town to spend the holiday with my family. Now, I have the choice of spending Thanksgiving with my husband for a few hours or the entire weekend without him but in the company of my family. I HATE making those kinds of choices. Stupid paychecks.

*It really irritates me that people complain about the snow. I am loving it! It's gorgeous and festive and fun for the kids to play in. Oh, and remember how it helps us to avoid drought in the summer? Besides, it has only snowed a day or two. Winter hasn't even officially begun people! And it can't be that big of a surprise; this happens every year. If it bothers you that much...move to Arizona. Then you can complain about the heat. Do I sound harsh? I suppose the grass is always greener...

Definitely a foul mood kind of day.

On the brighter side...

*It's snowing!!! I love it! Oh how I have missed it! My heart is thrilling with the chilling!

*It's almost Thanksgiving!! A mashed-potato-loving girl like me can't wait!

*Dee is reading! It is so exciting to see him sounding out the letters and making words out of them! I sure hope he has a love for literature like I did/do.

*A dear friend of mine has entrusted me with a task that is all sorts of enjoyable to do. Without saying more, I am grateful and unabashedly flattered that she felt she could entrust me with such a thing.

*I am eagerly looking forward to seeing my ornament from the Ornament Swap show up in the mail! I can't wait to see everyone elses' ornaments too! It's like Christmas...Oh wait...

*Sign-ups for Sami's part of our Holiday Swap are closing SOON! Make sure you get your merry little self signed up before it's too late. It really is a great idea for a swap! And so lovingly created and hosted by Sami. The girl is totally sweating bullets in her efforts to make sure this is a great swap for each and every participant. She is golden!


*I am working on a blog tutorial for making flannel baby rag quilts as I am currently making one for my own little bundle of joy. They are so cute and fun and easy! Word is Joanne Fabric and Craft Store is having a killer flannel sale this weekend. Coincidental? Nope.

AND heads up: I have so much fun making these quilts, I am planning on having a little giveaway for one homemade flannel baby rag quilt with your choice of colors at the end of the tutorial. Anyone interested???

So Monday, I can't quite decide...Are you foul or fowl?

I Kinda Miss the Days When...

If I was being honest (and please forgive me ahead of time if I am being too honest for your tastes, but...) I kinda miss the days when...

I imagined I had bucket loads of patience.

I only had to worry about feeding one mouth.

I could work out at 4:30 am in the morning or 11 pm at night because I could count on catching up on sleep later.

I didn't pay $70 to fill up my gas tank.

"Quiet" was normal.

The floor hardly ever got dirty.

I stayed up late giggling with my House of Dreams roommates.

It didn't take as much effort to focus on metaphysical material.

A first kiss was something to lose sleep over.

I sang duets with my sister all the time.

Every possibility seemed possible.

Life seemed really difficult, but it really wasn't.

My bust line only needed a gentle reminder from my wire bra.

I could watch TV without worrying about what little ears might hear or little eyes might see or little mouths might repeat.

I was full of endless energy and adventurous ambition.

I had homework, late nights, early mornings, a work schedule, a piece-of-hud car, my eyes on about three different guys, loud music, a flat tummy, no money, no time, every excuse, and a little bit of self control.

This would be the part where I would interrupt myself with a big fat "BUT" (and not the one I seem to be toting around these days)...

Can I just wallow in a little reminiscing for a bit and kinda miss those days without the optimistic repercussions?

P.S. Feeling a little swap silly? Make sure to sign up for my first swap! Think Christmas ornaments.

Fumbling-to-Find-the-Fun Friday Flop

You wanna know what's fun?: Going "home" for a visit.

You wanna know what's NOT fun?: Going home for a visit because of a funeral.


Fun: Thrift-store shopping!!

Not fun: Guiltily admitting to your husband that you spent $100 at Deseret Industries alone (and trying not to blab about the money spent at the other two thrift stores, antique shop, and fabric store).


Fun: Eating fresh, warm cheese soup from your favorite hometown bakery on the way out of town.

Not fun: Eating the first bite of your fresh, warm cheese soup and then hearing your son who is sitting in the back seat of the van announce that he has just thrown up.

Even more not fun: Watching, frozen in place with shock and disgust, as he continues to empty his stomach of everything he ate over the past three days...all over himself and the back seat of the van you were planning on traveling in for the next five hours.


Fun-ny: Thinking, "How could I tactfully get a picture of this for the blog without my husband being irritated at my need to share everything about my life?".

Not fun-ny: Deciding it wouldn't be worth the marital discord for one nasty shot of your son and backseat covered in puke only to hear your husband suggest an hour later it would have been a "funny" thing to get a picture of.


Fun: Eating fresh corn on the cob from your mom's garden.

Not fun: Realizing it's all gone.


Fun: Getting home after a trip so you can sleep in your own bed and hang out in your underwear again.

Not fun: No longer being able to ignore this...
or this...
or this...


Fun: Rubbing bellies with your pregnant sister.


Not fun: Realizing for the millionth time that you are fatter than your sister even though she is twice as pregnant. (See how cool we are flashing how many months pregnant with our hands.)


Fun: Getting to see your baby on ultrasound.

Not fun: Having a sleepy baby, pushy placenta, and cranky doctor who is "too busy" to take the time to show you the ultrasound or find out if your baby is a he or a she. I may or may not have cried in my car afterwards out of pure frustration and disappointment. I'll never say! Looks like three more weeks of waiting to get to know my little one a little better. {sigh}


Super Fun!!!: Participating in Sami's Quince Quote game at Symmetry in Motion. Go check it out! It's easy to enter and even easier to get sucked into her blog fun/goodness!

Not fun: Realizing I actually knew this movie whereas I didn't know all the chick-flicks she has done in months past.

Super not fun: Not winning, but I'm not too worried about that this time. I've got a good feeling about this one. {fingers crossed}

What's so fun and not fun at your house these days???