"How Do You Replace a Mother?"

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Do you remember when I mentioned not too long ago that Joe's cousin's wife passed away very unexpectedly?

An autopsy was done and even though all the test results are back, there is no obvious reason why a perfectly healthy, happy 31 year old mother of two would pass away so suddenly.

I hardly knew Zoe, but I sure can't stop thinking about her and even more about the little ones and husband she left behind. I have so many thoughts and emotions circling around this brain of mine, but Joe's cousin, Lori Conger said it better than I ever could on her blog today.

Can I just direct you over THERE today?

I hope you take the time to read it. It's not just about the tragic loss of this woman, but how invaluable each and every mother is. Beautifully written. Thank you, Lori.

On a more serious note...

I keep finding myself wandering back to this site. Maybe I'm hoping a miracle has happened and that little Preslee did not actually pass away. It is just too sad.

Last Friday when I discovered she had passed away, I grabbed my girls, held them tightly, and sobbed and sobbed. They were very confused by their weeping mama, but I tried to explain why I was so sad and how important they are to me.

Throughout the week I have found myself just watching them playing and thinking about the Sullengers who returned to an empty and silent house full of toys with no one to play with them. Even when my children have shown less than desirable behavior I have thought about those who would take the sound of screaming or whining over the silence that fills the air. When I have started to get frustrated with their mid-night wakings or milk spills or sibling arguments, I can't help but feel grateful to take the bad along with all the good.

It has been a somber and pensive week.

I am incredibly saddened for the Sullenger family as well as other families who deal with sickness, loss, death, or whatever trials may come. Sometimes this world is such a heavy, tragic place.

But I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is master of it all. Who knows far more than we ever will in this lifetime. Who gives us hope of life after death. I know that families can be together forever. I know that death does not destroy. It's just that wait to be reunited that is so painful.

I want to remember how I felt this week. Maybe tying blankets around little super hero shoulders is more important than neatly-made beds. Maybe that blog post can wait until we've read stories together. Maybe a family walk is more necessary than keeping up with my favorite TV show. Maybe having little helpers in the kitchen is more of a priority than a sparkling clean kitchen floor. Maybe it would be better for me to listen while snuggling rather than yell while sending them to their room.

Not "maybe". Definitely.